Potty Training: An Un-Update

Here we are…weeks from my first gleeful potty post. Weeks since we’ve had a successful potty trip. Seriously I guess we must have gone through a three day beginners luck because there has barely been a whisper of a mention of the potty from Emma. It’s like we have this big plastic (however not horribly distasteful looking) potty sitting in our bathroom taking up precious square footage for no reason. It’s just sitting there staring at me, laughing its gurgley potty laugh at me. And then there are the diapers that seem to keep finding their way into my shopping cart at the store every week. They sigh blissfully, content with their useful status. Their job is safe…for now. 

I however will not rest! I will not back down! I will stare those diapers in the face and say “NO MORE!” Heck I might even give the kiddie potty a whirl just so it remembers what its place is in this world (not silently mocking me.) My toddler however will continue to care less. I ask her if she needs to go, sometimes she says yes, sometimes no. If it’s a yes, we rush, skipping quickly with glee to the bathroom, only to end up with no results. I cannot tell you the last time she went in there! I really never pictured my kid being the kindergartner who wasn’t potty trained! Now maybe, just maybe I am over reacting because we haven’t even reached 2 years yet but I was kind of hoping it would be a one and done kind of thing. I mean COME ON! One of these parenting responsibilities HAS to be easy right? 

We haven’t quite reached def con 5 potty mode at the Patterson household just yet, but starting this weekend we will be stepping it up a notch. The plan? I will be single handedly designing the most colorful, sparkly potty training poster EVER in existence! Then I will get the AWESOMEST stickers in all the land and I will erect a shrine to potty training SO GREAT that upon visual contact you might shed a tear. I plan on having the poster laid out like a spreadsheet (yeah I stare at them all day of course the format is stuck in my head) with spots for each sticker. Emma will get a sticker for every time she uses the potty. After a number I haven’t figured out yet…maybe 5 maybe 10, there will be a larger prize. If we ever get to the no diaper phase then there will be possibly an even bigger prize. 

I am not one to bribe my kid. In fact other than birthdays, Christmas, or the occasional awesome thrift store find, she doesn’t get any new toys. I am willing to go hardcore bribe for this since I’ve heard it gets good results. I can’t say I won’t resort to this in the future…it depends on the success of the plan (aka the bribe) and what ridiculous milestone we have to make it through next. Being potty trained is one of life’s necessities so I will consider the successful completion my greatest parenting achievement to date! But really…… what am I doing again?

Moms I’m reaching out! How did you get your child potty trained?

The Unbalance

Almost exactly right after I hit the publish button on my last post every pearly word I’d written feel apart. All the gum drops and lollipops suddenly turned into evil mystery beef and terrible forgetfulness. Allow me to explain, on Tuesday I had a work meeting that ran late. I knew I would be staying late (it was only a half hour so no big deal). Well the gates of hell unleashed themselves on my otherwise “balanced” work day and I found myself breathlessly running back and forth to meetings and responding to emails with a furry. My lunch LOOKED nice, it really did. Sadly even I am not proficient enough in multitasking to hold a phone, type an email, and hold a fork in my hand. Maybe I should try packing some toddler fruit and veggie pouches for my lunch from now on. Or something I can sip through a straw at least.

After the mayhem of the day began to wind down, I went to my meeting, which ran over. Then I headed over to see my boss to put out a small fire that somehow had continued to smolder all day. After leaving this spirit boosting meeting, my stress level had reached def con 5. All I could do was think about how many things still needed to get done, how I was late picking up Emma, and how I wanted to hate my past self for not getting gas in the car yesterday. I was sweaty and red faced as I set out on my long journey across three buildings to get to my empty tanked car. I had my gym bag, my purse, my coat that I couldn't manage to put on because I was burning up, and my light and easily maneuverable (mmmhmmm) computer bag.  

I let out a small sigh of relief as I finally neared the door only to be hit with the realization that I left Emma’s sippy cup in the fridge by my desk, one building and 3 floors away. Let me momentarily interject and explain that Emma’s milk sippy cup is the KEY to a peaceful car ride home (that and some form of a snack.) Otherwise it is a major scream fest, one I knew I could not handle on this particular day.  I decided my ears and nerves would have to just deal because I could not return into the belly of the beast with my menagerie of bag lady accessories. 

I shuffled off to the elevators and found out only one was working. When it finally got to me, I politely but firmly made my way in only to be greeted with the uncanny smell of mystery beef from the cafeteria. Yes, someone must have eaten the mystery beef.  I was acutely aware of this fact because mystery beef from the cafeteria leaves such a repugnant odor that one cannot possibly misidentify it within several feet of the consumer. This I had to endure for 3 miserable floors. Finally, I made it out into the fresh air and turned on my car. Ah yes! Sweet relief! I was finally free to get Emma and go home! And then I turned the key…only to remember that I forgot I had ZERO gas left. Grand. I ended up swinging by to get Emma and finally get gas and was actually treated to an ok car ride home. 

I know this will by no means be an everyday occurrence but with a new job and more responsibilities it means I will have to be prepared for the possibility of unbalance but hopefully not mystery beef.

The Balance

Throughout my year and a half journey as a parent I have really gone through the ringer. I’ve been put into a lot of new and…um…interesting shall we say situations. As I look back on all of the times I’ve beaten myself up for not getting it all done flawlessly, I realize how much of a waste of time that self beating really was. I was doing my best. I am still doing my best because there is no perfect. Sometimes there is no best, it just is what it is. Of course the culmination of my ramblings is to get to the point that I finally feel like I have a balance to it all.

Don't misinterpret and come to take it as I have it all because I don't. Or that I have it all together because we all know I never will (and I kind of like that way.) But, I fell like I have momentarily unlocked the magic balance to workingmomdom for me. I say for me because my version of feeling balanced potentially greatly differs from anyone else. And let's face it, the true magic balance of anything is a place that exists down the rabbit hole in Narnia at track number 9 3/4 if you get my drift. There’s no having it all, but I finally feel like I am as balanced as I will ever be. I am finally adjusting to my new job and work load. The work is challenging and fulfilling without being overwhelming all the time (but we all know work can become overwhelming at times.) I also feel like the time I spend with Emma is truly quality. With the exception of needing a few minutes to quietly unwind when I get home each day, I am 100% focused on her. Every day I do my best to become more and more patient with my toddler. Some days I’m too exhausted for anything but other days I am able to sweep my exhaustion under the rug and spend hours in her world. With the crippling weather we've been having here lately, there have been many, many hours in Emmaland. But it's not just balancing my time that has fallen into place but my whole psyche seems to have aligned. I find myself more patient and more willing to compromise.

Finding this balance has been a huge accomplishment for me, particularly the patience piece. I lose my cool too easily a lot of times and let the littlest things get on my nerves. Slowing down and living in the moment have really helped me stay focused. I usually hate when I read someone say that they have found peace "living in the moment" because it sounds like a load of bs but I actually did accomplish this the other day. We’ve been having trouble getting Emma to sleep at night since we have actually stuck to one of our two family new years resolutions, going binkiless and potty training Emma (yeah potty training has gone temporarily out the window.) Without the binki, she keep crying after we initially would lay her down (usually when the soothing power of the binki would kick in.) I would go into her room a few times for a minute or two after the initial lay down and try to sooth her but she would just pop back up again. Well the other night, I finally gave it some thought and decided to be patient and just give her the time she needed. After I turned off the light I stayed next to her crib and talked with her for a while until she finally ended up yawning. I made my exit about ten minutes later without any tears shed. I was so thrilled it all worked out. That solution was simple and I feel like somehow I came to it because I allowed myself to. I gave myself the time I needed.

I am still slowly working toward being a patient mother. I am still working at a lot of things. I'm also acutely aware that over the course of the next few months our lives will be getting very busy with different activities and if all goes well, a move. I know things can never stay as they are which is the spice of life and I try to keep the future at a safe distance, which is why right now I am taking my time and enjoying everything as it is. I'm loving the balance.

Cold Winter Brings Clingy Toddler

January has descended upon us with a furry. The rooftops are all but unrecognizable blanketed in winter's white splendor. With this splendor comes the harsh realization that nature has unleashed its gray cloak to snuff out the light and any hope of pleasant outdoor adventures. And with this, my own personal entrapment. I find myself being stuck indoors with a very clingy toddler. The walls and limbs are closing in on me and I find myself gasping for air and sunshine.

The clingy phase is nothing new but with the combination of mobility, the discovery of the spoken word, and the enviable lack of travel outside of the home, we have reached critical mass. I find myself walking down the hall only to have the back of my shoes stomped on by little feet. I try to have a moment to myself in the bathroom only to be burst in on with news that baby doll has lost her hat again. My sleeve is either being tugged on or being adorned with fresh snot of toddler. I am in demand for coloring, reading only a page or two out of 25 separate books in a row, and providing a freshly made snack at a moments notice.

I shall provide you with an example; One of Emma's new favorite games is to play "night night." It involves you laying down while she covers you with a blanket, pats your back, and decides whether or not she will grace you with the comfort of a pillow for your head. On Friday the game was cute the 20 times we played it. On Saturday the game was cute. On Sunday the game was cute until about 3:30pm hit and after the thousandth time the blanket found its way to my line of vision I had had enough. We all really need to get out of the house. I have plans next weekend for a Saturday afternoon lunch and very over due visit with some adult friends. I actually plan on crafting Emma a Valentine's day outfit because crafting is how I unwind, so she will not be far from my thoughts. The following weekend or a weekend shortly thereafter we are planning our first trip to the aquarium! I also have plans to sign Emma up for gymnastics. It seems all of my planning and creative juices got sucked up by the holidays and starting a new job but a new year means plenty of new adventures for us and I look forward to spending time with my family outside of the four walls of our house.

I'm very glad my child enjoys spending time with me. I'm shocked and flattered that someone would want to spend so much time by my side, but everyone needs their space at some point. I just hope I can remind her that she owes me one...or a few dozen when she's a teenager ready to run out of the house. I won't be following her into the bathroom, but I might just grab a blanket to snuggle and ask for a game of "night night."

2013 A Year of Wondrous Feats

Yes, yes this is your run of the mill, regular old year recap but I thought I would jazz up the title because in all honesty, this was an incredible year for our little family. We all accomplished amazing feats. Looking back I can't believe how fast it all went by and how many changes we all went through. It was a truly remarkable year, so I will do my best to keep it short and sweet but there was just so mush awesomeness jam packed into 52 short weeks. Thar being said, every year has it tough times and in the most recent years, Thomas and I have gone through some real struggles so I can safely say that 2013 was our best year yet.

Emma:
What can I say, 2013 was Emma's year. I can hardly believe that just a year ago she was still crawling and putting everything in her mouth. Now, she runs everywhere and can talk up a storm.

This year also held a lot of firsts, first swim class, first soccer class, first trip to the zoo, first trip to the beach, first birthday, and much more.

The dogs:
We had a few scary moments this year, mostly involving Stanley our oldest, a boxer mix. He had to get surgery on his knee and then a few weeks later, he ran away from home. We were lucky that everything worked out in both situations as he recovered quickly and he was found the very next day after getting lost.

Thomas:
Thomas really stepped up as a dad this year and took on a lot more responsibility. When I had to change my commute he was able to take Emma to daycare every morning. He also got a promotion at work and changed store locations which allowed him to be home more often. It is beautiful to see his bond with Emma grow.

Myself:
This year I changed jobs twice and saw my career evolve into something I dreamed of. I finally figured out how to let go of some of the working mom guilt as I saw Emma learning so much from her daycare environment. I haven't written about it much but this year I stepped up my fitness routine and I am feeling healthier and more fit. I feel confident that 2014 holds nothing but good things to come.

Nothing is ever perfect but there were so many amazing memories I will love to look back on in 2013. It will always be a very special year for our family.We are looking forward to our adventures together in the new year!

Here's to a happy and healthy 2014 for you and your family! 

Holiday Recap

Christmas was a whirlwind of excitement and chaos and I am missing it already. We have been so busy lately that I did not have time to put together separate posts for each of our activities so I am going to mush them all into one big ball of holiday cheer. Enjoy reliving our holiday festivities!

Last weekend we went to go see Santa. I knew since it was nap time and she had just sat down for an hour long brunch followed by a wait in the Santa line that we had entered the Bermuda triangle of toddler meltdown situations. Right as we hit the front of the line she began getting fussy and as soon as we walked over to Santa she squirmed and held on to me with a toddler death grip. I had tried to explain to her that Santa is a nice man that brings presents but she is just shy of the age where she understands such things. Needless to say she was in no way going to cozy up to the guy in the red suit so we all sat down with Santa for a family photo. Then Santa whispered his magical plan for me to slowly move her onto his lap. At this point, somehow reason escaped my mind. Maybe deep down some part of me thought she might actually enjoy being abandoned in a strange place with an oddly dressed man. So, I did it and thus began the Christmas tears of 2013 followed shortly after by high pitched screams of terror and disapproval to insinuate that we were in error for attempting to place her in the very temporary custody of a stranger. I wish they had allowed us to take personal photos but they were forbidden this side of the North Pole so we only shelled out the money for the happy family photo but trust me when I say there we some great bad Santa photos as well.

 

 Then came Christmas Eve and our traditional visit to Thomas' mom's house (aka Mimi.) This tradition started out small with just us and Thomas' twin brother and his family. We started the tradition before we had Emma and when they had just one child. Then somehow over the years the festivities morphed to include our expanded families and Thomas' step brothers and their large families and some of their friends and his aunt and uncle and a few of his mom's neighbors and some of her co-workers. Oh, all in a one bedroom apartment. You really have no choice but to feel the love and the energy of the kids literally bouncing off the walls. Everyone was in great spirits except for the elderly woman who lives in the apartment below. I'm guessing by the sounds of her pounding on the ceiling she was not having a peaceful Christmas Eve....hmmm wonder why. Even though it is overwhelming and I do not recommend it for anyone with crowd anxieties it was still a fun time. Emma enjoyed playing with all of the big kids and of course it was great to see all of the Thomas' family. 

After the thrills of a chaotic night at Mimi's house, exhaustion set in. We made it home sometime around 8:30pm and then the real adventure began. The one I had been waiting for since I found out I was going to be a parent (and even before that.) I'm not going to come out and say exactly what I am talking about for all of those believers out there but for those that have gone before you know what I'm referring to. No matter how exhausted or how much work you know lies ahead, the reward far out weighs anything else. Of course this year as noted before, Emma is still not 100% on board with the whole Christmas thing but Santa Clause did come! I have it on good authority he worked really hard to make this Christmas a special one for Emma. Of course with all of the excitement and anticipation for the magic to unfold I was up at 6:30am and had to wait for everyone to get up. After a crazy Christmas Eve Emma sleep in until almost 8am...go figure. So with extreme excitement and anticipation I got her out of bed. Her dad was ready to record the whole thing... only we are in the process of transitioning away from the binky and well on this particular morning of mornings, the day of the birth of our king, lord and savor...behold, what could be heard from the Patterson household but not sounds of joy but rather tears and a tantrum! Leave it to stupid old mom to dare to take a binky away upon this day! Doesn't she know that's all that matters? Not the magic of the day but the dependency on a piece of plastic!

So our first video was of a screaming child. Seriously what kid wakes up Christmas morning to go out to the tree and bursts into tears... After some coaching Emma finally caught on that there were presents for her. Once again a few grandmas went overboard with the gifts so it looks like an obscene amount of stuff but Santa brought just a few things.

 

 

The final stop on our holiday tour was at my mom's (Nana's) house. Emma had napped and was ready to go but once again I was not prepared for what it would be like having her try to sit still for hours while people opened presents. Luckily she got some pretty awesome gifts to play with while the adults enjoyed their time together. She was spoiled once again and we really need to move now just to accommodate her growing toy collection.

All in all it was a very merry Christmas and I am truly grateful for the time I spent with family and friends. My only heartache comes with not having more time off to spend with my family. I worked a half day today and I am back to work a full day tomorrow. It was fun spending time playing with Emma this morning. Actually engaging with her, my husband, and all of her fun new toys was the highlight of my holiday. It brought me back to my childhood. I was honestly more excited about her gifts than my own! I guess that's part of the transition into parenthood. It really isn't about me anymore. It's about being with and doing what I can for my family and right now because of that my heart is full.

I hope you and your family had a happy holiday and will ring in an awesome new year!

18 Months

Don't worry, I will be back to my regularly scheduled holiday ranting later but for now I wanted to take a moment to breath and log what's been going on in Emma's 18 month. We are back to our old schedule and I am LOVING IT! I have more time with Emma in the afternoons now that m commute from hell is gone. She is growing and changing so rapidly that I am just trying to keep up from one day to the next. Here's a peek into Emma's 18th month so far:

Singing:
This is probably the cutest development this month. She is just starting to sing her ABCs! Thomas and I heard her singing herself to sleep the other night and we both stood in the hallway right outside her door listening and swooning. Her other favorite song? Row, row, row your boat of course! She can be in the throngs of building a massive block tower and all of a sudden out of nowhere she will look at me and yell "MOMMY! ROW ROW!" To which I am suckered into a rousing rendition of row row. For some reason she doesn't like any other line in the song other than the first one and will constantly ask for it to be repeated so my husband and I have started singing it in rounds to spice things up. She also loves twinkle twinkle little star. Apparently they must have taught her a dance to it at daycare because she starts making hand gestures and twirling around. Adorable!

Counting:
The first time I heard her count my jaw pretty much hit the floor. It hadn't been something we were working on at home so she must have picked it up at daycare. She can count up to ten! Sometimes she skips the number 5 for some reason which I'm hoping we can resolve since our currency consists of multiples of 5. The other day she started holding up her fingers while she counted and I was so amazed! She always smiles and laughs at the end, when she gets to ten like she knows how freakin awesome she is (yes my child is the awesomest ever!!! I invite you to start your own blog if you would like to rave about your child :)) - The image below is from her first outing in the snow (last year she was too little) she wasn't quite sure what to do and mommy probably had her bundled up too much.)

Testing the waters:
This month hasn't been all sweet songs and the makings for a hopefully successful mathlete career. This has also been the month where it has become crystal clear that Emma is testing her boundaries with us to see what she can get away with. I have no intention of letting my child walk all over me, however I do encourage her to be independent and explore her world. That being said, there are things that have to be done and some that are an absolute no. Getting her to comply is becoming a challenge. For example: she has taken it upon herself to feed the dogs about 10 times a day. After a careful explanation of why she cannot continuously feed the dogs, she will look at me with a sly crooked smile and continue about her business. Being a creature of mild intelligence I see what she is doing and with the best mommy authority I can muster up I remove her from the situation which leads to constant tantrums. This has been frustrating but we are slowly making progress. The other time we are having problems is when I pick her up from daycare. She refuses to put on her coat in order to leave. I have had to chase her around the room and hold her down in front of her caregivers and I am not to thrilled about looking like I can't handle the situation (however ...um I can't). My temporary solution is to pick her up and carry her down the hall to put her coat on by the exit door. I'm still not sure how to handle this or why she feels the need to practice dominance over me in front of others but perhaps I should read up on it.

Traditions:
This month has brought with it some awesome family traditions that Emma has participated in. I'm not sure if she has actually fully grasped everything that has been going on but I still love watching her learn about our fabulous American culture.

That pretty much sums it up for now. Lots of growing and some growing pains. One thing still remains the same...overall we really enjoy each others company and I defiantly look forward to what next year will bring.