Potty Training: An Un-Update

Here we are…weeks from my first gleeful potty post. Weeks since we’ve had a successful potty trip. Seriously I guess we must have gone through a three day beginners luck because there has barely been a whisper of a mention of the potty from Emma. It’s like we have this big plastic (however not horribly distasteful looking) potty sitting in our bathroom taking up precious square footage for no reason. It’s just sitting there staring at me, laughing its gurgley potty laugh at me. And then there are the diapers that seem to keep finding their way into my shopping cart at the store every week. They sigh blissfully, content with their useful status. Their job is safe…for now. 

I however will not rest! I will not back down! I will stare those diapers in the face and say “NO MORE!” Heck I might even give the kiddie potty a whirl just so it remembers what its place is in this world (not silently mocking me.) My toddler however will continue to care less. I ask her if she needs to go, sometimes she says yes, sometimes no. If it’s a yes, we rush, skipping quickly with glee to the bathroom, only to end up with no results. I cannot tell you the last time she went in there! I really never pictured my kid being the kindergartner who wasn’t potty trained! Now maybe, just maybe I am over reacting because we haven’t even reached 2 years yet but I was kind of hoping it would be a one and done kind of thing. I mean COME ON! One of these parenting responsibilities HAS to be easy right? 

We haven’t quite reached def con 5 potty mode at the Patterson household just yet, but starting this weekend we will be stepping it up a notch. The plan? I will be single handedly designing the most colorful, sparkly potty training poster EVER in existence! Then I will get the AWESOMEST stickers in all the land and I will erect a shrine to potty training SO GREAT that upon visual contact you might shed a tear. I plan on having the poster laid out like a spreadsheet (yeah I stare at them all day of course the format is stuck in my head) with spots for each sticker. Emma will get a sticker for every time she uses the potty. After a number I haven’t figured out yet…maybe 5 maybe 10, there will be a larger prize. If we ever get to the no diaper phase then there will be possibly an even bigger prize. 

I am not one to bribe my kid. In fact other than birthdays, Christmas, or the occasional awesome thrift store find, she doesn’t get any new toys. I am willing to go hardcore bribe for this since I’ve heard it gets good results. I can’t say I won’t resort to this in the future…it depends on the success of the plan (aka the bribe) and what ridiculous milestone we have to make it through next. Being potty trained is one of life’s necessities so I will consider the successful completion my greatest parenting achievement to date! But really…… what am I doing again?

Moms I’m reaching out! How did you get your child potty trained?

The Unbalance

Almost exactly right after I hit the publish button on my last post every pearly word I’d written feel apart. All the gum drops and lollipops suddenly turned into evil mystery beef and terrible forgetfulness. Allow me to explain, on Tuesday I had a work meeting that ran late. I knew I would be staying late (it was only a half hour so no big deal). Well the gates of hell unleashed themselves on my otherwise “balanced” work day and I found myself breathlessly running back and forth to meetings and responding to emails with a furry. My lunch LOOKED nice, it really did. Sadly even I am not proficient enough in multitasking to hold a phone, type an email, and hold a fork in my hand. Maybe I should try packing some toddler fruit and veggie pouches for my lunch from now on. Or something I can sip through a straw at least.

After the mayhem of the day began to wind down, I went to my meeting, which ran over. Then I headed over to see my boss to put out a small fire that somehow had continued to smolder all day. After leaving this spirit boosting meeting, my stress level had reached def con 5. All I could do was think about how many things still needed to get done, how I was late picking up Emma, and how I wanted to hate my past self for not getting gas in the car yesterday. I was sweaty and red faced as I set out on my long journey across three buildings to get to my empty tanked car. I had my gym bag, my purse, my coat that I couldn't manage to put on because I was burning up, and my light and easily maneuverable (mmmhmmm) computer bag.  

I let out a small sigh of relief as I finally neared the door only to be hit with the realization that I left Emma’s sippy cup in the fridge by my desk, one building and 3 floors away. Let me momentarily interject and explain that Emma’s milk sippy cup is the KEY to a peaceful car ride home (that and some form of a snack.) Otherwise it is a major scream fest, one I knew I could not handle on this particular day.  I decided my ears and nerves would have to just deal because I could not return into the belly of the beast with my menagerie of bag lady accessories. 

I shuffled off to the elevators and found out only one was working. When it finally got to me, I politely but firmly made my way in only to be greeted with the uncanny smell of mystery beef from the cafeteria. Yes, someone must have eaten the mystery beef.  I was acutely aware of this fact because mystery beef from the cafeteria leaves such a repugnant odor that one cannot possibly misidentify it within several feet of the consumer. This I had to endure for 3 miserable floors. Finally, I made it out into the fresh air and turned on my car. Ah yes! Sweet relief! I was finally free to get Emma and go home! And then I turned the key…only to remember that I forgot I had ZERO gas left. Grand. I ended up swinging by to get Emma and finally get gas and was actually treated to an ok car ride home. 

I know this will by no means be an everyday occurrence but with a new job and more responsibilities it means I will have to be prepared for the possibility of unbalance but hopefully not mystery beef.

The Balance

Throughout my year and a half journey as a parent I have really gone through the ringer. I’ve been put into a lot of new and…um…interesting shall we say situations. As I look back on all of the times I’ve beaten myself up for not getting it all done flawlessly, I realize how much of a waste of time that self beating really was. I was doing my best. I am still doing my best because there is no perfect. Sometimes there is no best, it just is what it is. Of course the culmination of my ramblings is to get to the point that I finally feel like I have a balance to it all.

Don't misinterpret and come to take it as I have it all because I don't. Or that I have it all together because we all know I never will (and I kind of like that way.) But, I fell like I have momentarily unlocked the magic balance to workingmomdom for me. I say for me because my version of feeling balanced potentially greatly differs from anyone else. And let's face it, the true magic balance of anything is a place that exists down the rabbit hole in Narnia at track number 9 3/4 if you get my drift. There’s no having it all, but I finally feel like I am as balanced as I will ever be. I am finally adjusting to my new job and work load. The work is challenging and fulfilling without being overwhelming all the time (but we all know work can become overwhelming at times.) I also feel like the time I spend with Emma is truly quality. With the exception of needing a few minutes to quietly unwind when I get home each day, I am 100% focused on her. Every day I do my best to become more and more patient with my toddler. Some days I’m too exhausted for anything but other days I am able to sweep my exhaustion under the rug and spend hours in her world. With the crippling weather we've been having here lately, there have been many, many hours in Emmaland. But it's not just balancing my time that has fallen into place but my whole psyche seems to have aligned. I find myself more patient and more willing to compromise.

Finding this balance has been a huge accomplishment for me, particularly the patience piece. I lose my cool too easily a lot of times and let the littlest things get on my nerves. Slowing down and living in the moment have really helped me stay focused. I usually hate when I read someone say that they have found peace "living in the moment" because it sounds like a load of bs but I actually did accomplish this the other day. We’ve been having trouble getting Emma to sleep at night since we have actually stuck to one of our two family new years resolutions, going binkiless and potty training Emma (yeah potty training has gone temporarily out the window.) Without the binki, she keep crying after we initially would lay her down (usually when the soothing power of the binki would kick in.) I would go into her room a few times for a minute or two after the initial lay down and try to sooth her but she would just pop back up again. Well the other night, I finally gave it some thought and decided to be patient and just give her the time she needed. After I turned off the light I stayed next to her crib and talked with her for a while until she finally ended up yawning. I made my exit about ten minutes later without any tears shed. I was so thrilled it all worked out. That solution was simple and I feel like somehow I came to it because I allowed myself to. I gave myself the time I needed.

I am still slowly working toward being a patient mother. I am still working at a lot of things. I'm also acutely aware that over the course of the next few months our lives will be getting very busy with different activities and if all goes well, a move. I know things can never stay as they are which is the spice of life and I try to keep the future at a safe distance, which is why right now I am taking my time and enjoying everything as it is. I'm loving the balance.

Cold Winter Brings Clingy Toddler

January has descended upon us with a furry. The rooftops are all but unrecognizable blanketed in winter's white splendor. With this splendor comes the harsh realization that nature has unleashed its gray cloak to snuff out the light and any hope of pleasant outdoor adventures. And with this, my own personal entrapment. I find myself being stuck indoors with a very clingy toddler. The walls and limbs are closing in on me and I find myself gasping for air and sunshine.

The clingy phase is nothing new but with the combination of mobility, the discovery of the spoken word, and the enviable lack of travel outside of the home, we have reached critical mass. I find myself walking down the hall only to have the back of my shoes stomped on by little feet. I try to have a moment to myself in the bathroom only to be burst in on with news that baby doll has lost her hat again. My sleeve is either being tugged on or being adorned with fresh snot of toddler. I am in demand for coloring, reading only a page or two out of 25 separate books in a row, and providing a freshly made snack at a moments notice.

I shall provide you with an example; One of Emma's new favorite games is to play "night night." It involves you laying down while she covers you with a blanket, pats your back, and decides whether or not she will grace you with the comfort of a pillow for your head. On Friday the game was cute the 20 times we played it. On Saturday the game was cute. On Sunday the game was cute until about 3:30pm hit and after the thousandth time the blanket found its way to my line of vision I had had enough. We all really need to get out of the house. I have plans next weekend for a Saturday afternoon lunch and very over due visit with some adult friends. I actually plan on crafting Emma a Valentine's day outfit because crafting is how I unwind, so she will not be far from my thoughts. The following weekend or a weekend shortly thereafter we are planning our first trip to the aquarium! I also have plans to sign Emma up for gymnastics. It seems all of my planning and creative juices got sucked up by the holidays and starting a new job but a new year means plenty of new adventures for us and I look forward to spending time with my family outside of the four walls of our house.

I'm very glad my child enjoys spending time with me. I'm shocked and flattered that someone would want to spend so much time by my side, but everyone needs their space at some point. I just hope I can remind her that she owes me one...or a few dozen when she's a teenager ready to run out of the house. I won't be following her into the bathroom, but I might just grab a blanket to snuggle and ask for a game of "night night."