2

Emma,

I can't believe it my dear, the year has passed and watching quietly from my perch, you have gone from a happy go lucky baby to an energetic, opinionated toddler.

The year brought major challenges and triumphs. The "terrible twos" actually started around a year and a half and the tantrums were pretty grusome in the beginning, mostly becasue I didn't know how to handle them. Defiance and testing boundaries has also become a common occurance and major challenge for me to learn how to discipline while nurturing and making teachable moments. I hope I am doing my best to teach you the reasoning behind why you need to do certain things, even if you don't want to do them.

The triumphs have been nothing sort of amazing as I have gone from steadying you while you walk to you now confidently taking off running down the sidewalk. You moved from the "binki" and the bottle to feeding yourself with a fork (sometimes) and drinking from a big girl cup. We have also hit a major potty training milestone (going to the potty unassisted at daycare!) You are happy to go at school but home is another story. We're working on it, but either way I am so thrilled you are moving forward!

Besides the obvious physical triuphs, you continue to amaze me with your brilliant mind. You catch onto concepts so easily, like up and down, empty and full. You know a lot of shapes and colors and we are starting to work on identifying ABCs and numbers! You like to "read" books to us right after we read them to you (aka you memorize what we just read and say it back to us.) You know about a dozen songs and love to sing them in the car.

Besides your amazing mind is your incredible sense of adventure. You will try anything once and love being flipped and thrown in the air (courtesy of daddy as mommy stands by watching in stunned horror.) Ever since you learned how to jump, you will not stop and it's one of your greatest joys. You delight in the simple things. You love collecting rocks and transporting them in your pockets or dump truck. You love being outside and going on "nature walks" which we do frequently. I hope you never lose your love of nature. I am going to encourage and support it as much as I can (even if it means venturing outside in 80+ degree heat.)

You are an outgoing, social butterfly in some situations, but are shy and quiet in others, It's so fun to see you become comfortable with your surroundings and go from a quiet wall flower to an energetic attention seeker.

Some Highlights from the year:
My cell phone camera is always on ther verge of photographic meltdown so I did not capture nearly enough of our adventures (in my opinion) but these are the most memorable.

The day after your first birthday hanging out in your first kiddie pool!

Hanging out with your cousin

First little pony tail!

4th of July

 First trip to the beach!

 First pony ride!

Visit with Santa (you would not sit with him without me) 

 Halloween! Little Red Ridding hood!

Playing in the leaves

 First "flight"

 First trip to the aquarium!

 First real romp in the snow

 First time flying a kite!

 First Easter egg hunt!

 First gymnastics class!

 

 I did my best to document this past year and I can't wait for what next year will bring.

Love,
Mom

The Second Birthday

It flew by like a dream. It was months ago when I started planning the celebration, coming up with contingency plans for the weather, deciding on food/ cake/ venue, and figuring out every little detail in between. I honestly started planning this party so long ago that I thought it would take forever to get here but sadly time once again won the battle and it's over, gone. My child is two years old now and I am sitting here left in the after party dust, cake frosting and paper product bits are all that's left. It kind of reminds me of the opening scene from "Father of the Bride: where Steve Martin is sitting in his living room with all of the decorations falling down and a bunch of half full champagne glasses and pieces of uneaten cake haphazardly lying about. You look up and realize it's over, that moment is gone forever. But thankfully, I got to take the birthday girl home. She hasn't left me yet! I got to take her home to share in the special moments that only we share and enjoy the inside jokes we have (doughy is a current one - yeah you had to be there.) I got to go to the pool with her the next day and let nothing else distract me, which was the real birthday gift.

The party was a flurry of running around, setting up, leaping on a train, throwing cake at people, and then tearing everything down. I didn't spend nearly enough time with the actual birthday girl or enough time catching up with my friends who I rarely see. It's almost like I was setting myself up for failure by inviting a bunch of people I couldn't wait to talk to and then expecting myself to have time to pay full attention to the birthday girl, all while making sure the ice bucket stayed full. This is how I really felt and this is why next year, I am finally going to embrace the immediate family only birthday party. It was fun for Emma to have a bunch of other kids to play with but honestly when I did get a look at her between the balloons and the ice cream, she looked bewildered, lost....overwhelmed. I think that is the word I am looking for. Maybe big birthdays are meant for big kids and I think I will leave it at that for now.

Overall, the party was a success in that most of the kids seemed to be amused during the 2 hour time span and we didn't run out of pizza, which was my biggest fear. Since I was spending too much time doing unimportant things, I barely got any pictures. I am upset at myself for this but honestly, it was what it was and now you all get to use your imaginations! I know I am an enabler of imaginative wonder!

The party was in a big room at a local park. They had plenty of tables and seating. I was very happy about that. Of course we went with a Mickey Mouse theme (I have a blog post written about Emma's love of Mickey but haven't gotten around to posting it or much else lately which is another post altogether.) I went Party City all the way with the decorations, except the Happy Birthday banner. I made one last year so I decided to carry out the tradition and make one this year inspired by one I found on Pintrest of course.

That was the only thing I made besides the goodie bags (between the banner and the goodie bags I can now professionally free hand cut the Mickey Mouse solute. Hey who says you don't acquire amazing skills from a birthday party!) I did have a last minute panic attack the night before when I foolishly logged onto Pintrest and saw a Mickey Mouse cookie cutter. Of course! I can make EVERYTHING Mickey shaped! I then proceeded to spend Saturday morning scouring the county for this phantom cookie cutter. I gave up after a while and decided my banner was enough of a showcase piece to distract people from seeking out other mouse themed decor/ sustenance.

We had an amazing Costco pizza and cake, both of which turned out well.With everything else, I decided an elaborate cake would be too much so we settled on the Costco cake with Mickey figurines strategically placed. I sadly did not get any pictures of the cake but I feel like the hand placed figurines payed homage to birthday cakes of my childhood.

The big thing at the party was the train ride! It was the longest stretch of time I spent with Emma at the party and also the longest I sat down. It was glorious.

Everyone seemed to have a good time and I feed the kids just enough sugar to rev them up during the party to hopefully have them crash on the car ride home. As for Emma, she was surrounded by family and friends who love her, what could be better...well maybe ice cream!

And that was it, I was George Banksed. It all happened in the blink of an eye. That's it, that's all, that's 2.

Then and Now Part Two

Yes folks it's back! I have created a follow up to my previous list of then vs now: the comings and goings of my life as a mommy vs my carefree childless days. My new list explores the comings and goings of life with a baby vs life with a toddler. (Some scenarios might be slightly over dramatized.) So for all of my new mommy friends, in order to prepare you for what is to come and to remind myself how life used to be, I give you then vs now: baby vs toddler edition!

Leaving the house then:

Place clothing on baby and load slumbering baby in easy to carry car seat. Throw light as air diaper bag over your shoulder and head out the door.

 

 Leaving the house now:

 

Fight over the importance of wearing a jacket when it's raining out and explain that the doggies cannot come with us to the grocery store because they will eat all of the food on the shelves. After 15 minutes of back and forth on the jacket and the misfortune of the doggies having to stay home, grab child-sized backpack with crackers, fruit snacks, apples slices, raisins, and grapes. Realize after you get on the highway that your toddler wants blueberries not grapes you inconsiderate fool.

Going to the park then:

Walk at a relaxing pace with baby in car seat/ stroller attachment. Place baby in a swing and you are met with sounds of glee.

Going to the park now:

Sustain incessant wave of "are we there yets" and "I'm hungrys" until you get to the playground where your toddler will refuse to do anything but go on the slide meant for 12 year olds or throw wood chips dangerously close to innocent eyelids or proceed to set up a dictatorship to decide who gets to ride on the merry-go-round.

Feeding then:

Smash up any fruit or vegetable of your choice and watch as your baby happily ingests their nutrition.

 Feeding now:

Anything that is not a carb or bread like substance is the devil and must be eliminated by throwing it to the dogs or spitting it out on the floor. Vegetables are greeted as if they are nuclear remnants from a reactor explosion.

Dressing them then:

Wrap baby in the folds of a cute onesie and they are good to go.

Dressing them now:

Don't even THINK about that thermal with the hearts on it or those grey sneakers because those will be met with rejection (read: 20 minute tantrum). My advise, set out the opposite outfit you want them to wear in hopes that they will rummage through and pick out the outfit you DO want them to wear.
 

Changing situations then:

Show your baby a new toy or shiny object and they will forget about what they should not have.

Changing situations now:

Those scissors were OBVIOUSLY within reach on the far side of the table so OBVIOUSLY the toddler knows they were meant to have them. No shiny object, not even the glisten of fruit snacks will distract them from their new best friend Mr. Scissors and you are the wretched soul that tore them apart which shall NEVER be forgotten.

Bedtime then:

Rock your sweet baby to sleep within 30 blissful minutes.

Bedtime now:

If you make it past bath time, teeth brushing, and pj selection, place toddler in bed and gently remind them they cannot go to sleep with every book in the house. Spend an ungodly amount of time whittling down the bed library to two books and quickly head for the door before the dreaded words leave their lips "I need water."

What I Need to Do for Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a time for rest, reflection, and most importantly spending quality time together as a family. There I just summed up every sentimental Mother's Day blog post and article you will read so you're welcome. To be honest, the past two weeks have been very stressful and difficult for many reasons. But from them, I have taken away something for myself  that I would like to work on. You see for this Mother's Day, I am giving myself a homework assignment, really a life assignment I guess. I know WORK on Mother's Day?!?! But bare with me for a moment.

My mind has been encapsulated in a dense fog for the past two weeks. I keep finding little moments, little beams of light, moments of clarity where I can focus on the amazingness of my child. Since I have been so busy and so mentally exhausted, I have realized the true importance of making the most of the moments I have with Emma. I keep whining on here about how I am so sad she is growing up and yet I feel like I am letting that all pass me by. So my assignment to myself is to really live in the moment and make sure I am giving her my undivided attention when I'm with her. Our afternoons and Saturdays together are two times I can start focusing in on the sound of her laugh, the way her hair curls up on the ends, and how she sometimes bables incoherently really fast about complete nonsense. I want to work on being able to focus in when life gets hectic and crazy.

That's probably the best mom superpower to have, just to be present for your child (ok making sure to always have awesome, Pintrest worthy snacks could also be considered a close second.) She is the purest form of joy I could ever ask for and I need that in my life more than ever. I have it right in front of me, why not partake in the awesomeness that simply is. So that's what I will be doing this Mother's Day and everyday going forward because we all know Mother's Day is every day.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you currently in the trenches and to those who will soon be joining the ranks!

One More Month

I was suppose to have posted this about a week ago but you get the idea. one month, less a week. 

It's about to happen again, something so incredible, something that looking back I was not even sure how I would make it to, Emma's second birthday. In (now) less than a month, my baby is moving farther away from actually being a baby and it's mind blowing to me. I really thought this year would be different than last in that I would not feel the necessity to throw some grand celebration for Emma's birthday but, here I am in full Pintrest decoration mode. I suppose the love of all things birthday is just something I have been graced with and it seems like my kids will have to endure my excessively obsessive need to overly decorate and party down (read: have an anxiety attack during the 20 minute window the venue is giving us to set up for the party) once every year.

There is also something else coming up, a big milestone that will probably have a more lasting impact on Emma than a mere two hour birthday soiree, she is getting ready to move into the two year old room at daycare (we call it school when we talk about it.) I am really nervous and more than a little concerned because Emma has two of the most wonderful, patient "teachers" right now. Once you have kids and are around kids, you realize it takes a very special person to actually be with kids for 8-10 hours a day and maintain patience and sanity. Emma is lucky enough to have two of those people in here life. I am not as familiar with the two year old teachers, but I am hoping for just as wonderful of a support system.

The other thing that worries me is it seems like Emma has made some little friends in the toddler room. Her classmates are sweet, happy-go-lucky kids but as of June 2nd, Emma will enter the two year old room with all the new kids. I cringe and shudder just thinking about it. I've seen the two year olds staring out the glass door from their classroom looking like toddler zombies ready to attack! They just seem like the "big kids" so confident and sure of themselves. Emma is tall for her age but these kids look like gigantic, looming, toddler Sasquatches ready to stampede you with their opinions. The kids just talk and talk. Emma's current classroom crew is pretty laid back, quiet, and not so judgmental. So I feel like once she steps foot in the two year old room all hell will break loose. I don't want my sweet little toddler to turn into a raging terrible two zombie Sasquatch. I want her to always request for me to sing the ABCs and enjoy watching bugs crawl on the ground; all of life's simple things.

I'm not sure if Emma will emotionally have trouble dealing with the classroom change but I will be there for her through it all. I remember disliking going on to the next grade but secretly loving the newness of it all. I hope the latter will be Emma's experience.

What Should Be an Easter Post

Ah yes folks Easter weekend has come and gone and I barely have any pictures (much less sanity) to show for it. We had a great time visiting with family. We colored Easter eggs, enjoyed the nice weather, and ate a little bit too much ham. It was all so glorious. But rather than dive into my usual lengthy description of the book my mom gifted Emma that pissed me off or the new helicopter toy Emma would not put down at Easter dinner (that played a fun little tune – insert eye roll here) or how we FINALLY got Frozen on dvd and I can’t wait to watch it again... I am going to let you imagine how those blips in my weekend went. Sorry, no fun stories or any of that. Why? Simply put, I am tired.

I am barely squinting through my slivery open eye slits right now.  My head is heavy and fuzzy. Concentration is nearly non-existent.  I am ready to Rip Van Winkle my way outa here right now. And I know what the problem is. I can pin point it exactly… I am over scheduling myself. Yes, as a lover of fun, hater of chores, and overall slob in my personal life (not work life), I end up with too much on my plate each week. Part of my problem stems from a childhood of always wanting to experience fun, new things and not getting too many opportunities do to that. So I feel like now, with every extra second I get on the weekends, I need to have at least one epic adventure planned with random bits of fun sprinkled in-between. (This also comes as a result of working mom guilt. As in, when I finally have time to be with my child I want to do something amazing to make the most of our time together.) That leaves chores and other appalling adult responsibilities dangling in the wind, hanging on for dear life, yet demanding their fair share of my time. 

Take for instance my insufferable relationship with laundry. If I am not on my game, which is most weekends, I leave the bulk of the work for Sunday right around 4pm. More often than not we are just getting home from an adventure after which I am deathly exhausted and my body is ready to collapse. And yet, there I go torturing myself with more lifting and folding and scooping. Buying groceries also gets haphazardly thrown in there at some point during the weekend, as does any sort of meal prep for the week. Not to mention clothing organization (aka laying out Emma’s/ my clothes for the week ahead of time <-- huge lifesaver.) Then sometimes (but not often enough) the dogs need baths or food or a walk or something. Squeezing all of that around epic adventures is exhausting. 

Now given that information, I have no idea WHY I decided this past weekend (yes Easter weekend) was when I HAD to start spring cleaning. I’m not going to sugar coat it, cleaning my house falls to the bottom of the priority list every time so I guess it is no surprise that I finally started becoming disgusted with the state of things around the house. I also somehow worked it out in my head that cleaning and organizing Emma’s toys was the number one thing that needed to get done. And I figured since we did not have “that much to do” on Saturday (other than to go see my family for Easter) or Sunday (go see his mom for Easter) that this weekend would be the perfect time to get things done. So there I was at 8am on Saturday, disinfecting wipes in hand ready to go. Several hours and one bewildered husband later, I had made it through the living room and dining room…that was it. I didn’t even touch the kitchen or our rooms which are in serious need of attention as well.  After waving the white flag of defeat, we retreated to the park for an hour before lunch and nap. The rest of the weekend flashed by in a back to back sequence that left me staring at the same mound of laundry I seem to see every Sunday night without fail. 

So here I am, trying to figure it out. It’s finally play outside weather and I refuse to spend my weekends inside cleaning but it seems like I have to give a little. So I’m turning to you all out there. How do you find time to clean? Can I somehow sneak it into my work week? That’s what I’m heading towards I guess until I win the lottery and can afford a maid service.

Also since I am not all about complaining about ridiculous but necessary adult responsibilities, here are some sweet pictures of Emma enjoying her Easter basket. Hope you and your family had a great Easter!

A Dog and Her Girls: Bella's Story

   

I really don't talk about it enough but I'm not just a mom to a spirited human toddler, I am also a mom to 4 amazing dogs. I've written a separate post on Stanley and I have written about all 4 dogs but I wanted to take a minute to tell Bella's story. She has been an amazing part of my life for 7 years now! 7 years and yet it seems like not very many at all. So in honor of Bella's birthday this month here is her story:

Back in early 2007, I moved across the country to pursue a dream and live out new life experiences. I packed my bags and moved Los Angles never having been there before and only knowing 2 people. It was very therapeutic for me to get out on my own but very lonely at the same time.

Now let’s flashback to my youth (insert flowy flashback haze here.) For as long as I can remember, I wanted a dog. It seems like right around the late 80s/ early 90s, there were a bunch of dog movies out and every one of them told of an adventure between a dog and their human soul mate. An unbreakable bond, and a relationship I very much wanted to be a part of. So, after years of begging, it finally happened, my mom caved, and on my 12^th birthday (yes folks YEARS of begging) we went to the animal shelter. I was so excited that we were finally getting a dog! There was of course one other thing, one small detail my mom and I had neglected to flesh out….I wanted a BIG dog. I wanted a large beast who would fetch and swim and take over half of my bed with their snuggles. I wanted a dog’s dog, if that makes any sense. Unfortunately, my mom was nowhere near my train of thought. We were (and pretty much always are) on different trains on different tracks in different continents. Heck, we are almost always on totally different modes of transportation in different universes if you get my drift…. annnnnnnd ok this metaphor has gone on long enough. 

ANYWAYS so it was no surprise when we walked out of the shelter with a small (somewhat) personalityless dog. Now don’t get me wrong, good old Scruffy was a sweet guy and did like to cuddle from time to time, but he was not the Lassie I had been picturing in my head. I did love the little guy and I did weep openly the day my mom called me to tell me he had passed away….I was at work, in LA….

So, my childhood (ok preteen/ teenage) dog passed away and I was an adult now and ready to finally have a dog of my own, a dog’s dog. Then came Bella. Let me tell you it was a rocky start at first. I had never raised a puppy and man it was a big time responsibility (just like having a newborn which we can all relate to.) After we got over potty training and the separation anxiety, we settled into our routine as best friends. We would go on walks around gorgeous Southern California and to the dog park and the beach. She got me out of the house and made me feel more at ease with my new surroundings. I’m sad I do not have more pictures of her from when she was a puppy, but back then cell phone cameras were crappy and I was not with it enough to have a digital camera. The few shots I included on here are all I have. I keep the memories with me though and now, I get to see new ones being made, but not with me, with Emma.

When Bella entered my life, never did I think that she would one day be the childhood dog of my daughter. But as it stands, the two are nearly inseparable. Bella and Emma naturally gravitate to one another. They are both gentle, playful souls at their best. Bella is very patient and loves nosing herself into everyone else's busyness (that and I think she genuinely likes the sweet, sticky smell of toddler.) They always end up in funny situations together and I think overall they bring comfort to one another. They just enjoy each others company, like a silent sense of security. It’s one of the most beautiful relationships I’ve ever seen unfold.  It’s truly amazing to see. Looking at them together I can’t help but think that now Bella has two girls, an old friend and a new friend for life. We will be there for her, loving her just like she has been for us.