Ok, I understand the whole point of being on a mailing list
but geez!! Sandals PLEASE take me
OFF your email list!!! No I do not want to return for a fun trip, I would sleep
right through the whole thing. Sorry can’t wear a bathing suit right now, or at
least one that resembles anything you have in your perfectly polished resort
pictures.
Yes I would love a nice spiked tropical drink and a hot
stone massage but unless you are going to provide free daycare for four months
so I can save up to take your “adventure of a lifetime” then I’m sorry, the
picture on my cubical wall of a lone palm tree swaying in the pretend breeze on
a white sand beach will have to do for now. I can ask my cube row mate Betty to
blow her fan in my direction and have Bob throw a glass of water on me while
he walks by to simulate the sea breeze, perhaps have the maintenance guys lower the florescent light above
me to get that “glowing skin” effect but that is the closest I will be getting
to your tropical island retreat.
Did you not get the memo that I gave birth mere months after
my first and only hurrah on your beautiful island resort? Well yeah it happened
so now I have been doomed to the island of smeared yams and poop until we can
save up enough to make it to Disneyland in 5-7 years.
All in all, I have not given up on you, in fact I believe
somewhere in the back of my mommy mush brain I hold hope to one day visit you
again, but for now I bid you adieu. Well I would bid you adieu if I ever get up
the motivation to take myself off the mailing list, yet somehow I got the
motivation to type a four paragraph rant. Funny how that happens.
This is a picture from our honeymoon in Jamaica. I will always cherish the memories.
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