Saturday, September 10, 2016

Summer Vacation Recap


It's still technically summer so I'm good to post about our vacation from over a month ago right? Great! I also want to post on our random summer adventures too so I have them to look back on. Before I get into it, a side note, that things are still difficult around here but looking up. I guess I just needed to be reminded about how to see the positive through the not so great events of late. Our lives are filled with wonder and happiness still. We have an amazing little family and we are moving forward, more resilient than ever. That being said, here is a recap of our summer vacation 2016!

We started our journey on Saturday waaaaaaay back in July. Emma, the hubs, and my brother rode in one car with my mom, Bella, and myself in the other. We actually hit less traffic this year than last on the way in. We stayed at the same amazing house as last year. We met up with my sister, her husband, and their 2 year old daughter there. It is so amazing to see Emma and her cousin grow up together. They are both at the age where they can run and play (read: get into mischief) together.


There is this little park around the block which made for a perfect walk for the girls to get out of the house when we weren't really into going to the beach.




It was the week of a super heat wave but we braved the beach every day except for Friday when I think everyone had had enough. But of course on the first day we had to do our traditional walk into the main part of town to get ice cream!


Followed by a bath in the most obnoxiously luxurious bath tub ever which took like 20 minutes to fill.

I feel like every time we go to the beach house we all run around the place like little kids exploring our new environment, like how Macaulay Culkin freaks out when he first gets to the Plaza hotel with its space and grandeur. I know I get giddy over the fact that there is more than one bathroom and the kitchen is like a palace from my dreams. It's the kind of house we will never be able to afford but we are fortunate to play pretend in for a week, and that's fine by me!

The first couple of days at the beach, Emma was not interested in the water at all. She was scared and unsure. She gets like this in a lot of new situations. It takes her a while to warm up and then by the time she does, usually the activity is over. It's the same for situations she has been in many times before as well. Every time she got in a pool this summer it was like she forgot she ever swam before and had to take a good 30 minutes (right until it was adult swim) to figure out that she loved it. I finally figured out how to describe it to my friend. Emma is like Drew Barrymore from 50 first dates. It's like she has short term memory loss where she can't remember how awesome something is until she experiences it again, like it was the first time.

Needless to say, she finally remembered loving the ocean and swimming it in, and once she did, there was no stopping her.

 See those two tiny dots in the distance, yeah that's my crew. And zoomed in...


It was great to see Emma get so much joy from something simple, like swimming in the ocean.

The rest of the time, when we weren't at the beach, we did the usual boardwalk games and rides...





We also get the added bonus of bringing Bella, our beloved yellow lab with us. We always make sure we take time out to go to the dog beach with her. Emma loves running and playing with Bella and Bella loves her time in the water. Our Bella girl is getting older and with the passing of our old boy Stanley in Feburary, we are making sure to make the most of our time with our pup!






And that sums up our trip for the most part. It was relaxing and too short as always. I'm glad I was able to look back on these memories and that I'm able to look forward to many more.


"Hold tight you're slowly coming back to life..."

Sunday, September 4, 2016

So Here I Am

Hello All


Sorry I have been MIA all summer. This summer has not really felt like summer in the sense that summer is supposed to be a magical time of fireflies, long warm nights, and endless activities. I always look forward to the lazy hum of the crickets and the occasional thunder storm. Everything seems to slow down and time doesn't matter as much except this summer, when it did.

Don't get me wrong, we had some wonderful times as a family; a vacation to the beach I hope to finally post about soon, a bunch of trips to the pool, swim class (Emma is so close to swimming by herself!), lots of books read (Emma is adding more and more sight words as the weeks go by!), and lots of ice cream, treats, birthday parties and the usual events. Sadly, we spent the majority of our summer in the car driving around looking at houses which was no fun for any of us after a while.

We finally made it to the end of summer and I thought we could make the last few weeks really special but that was taken away from us when a drunk driver hit Thomas' parked car on our street in the middle of the night. Here we are weeks away from moving and now we only have one car. It has been difficult to say the least. Not to mention the whole house buying process has been extra stressful with several curve balls thrown in because we needed more stress : /  At this point we have spent the whole summer stressing about finding a house and moving and now that might not happen. That story possibly for another time. Right now our house is half boxed up and half cluttered with things that were in the process of getting boxed up and I just want to hide in a box at this point.

I feel terrible I could not give Emma more of my time and attention without being paralyzed from stress. She is still at that magical age where she wants to do things with me and I only embarrass her when I dance at inopportune times (aka any time). I don't want to lose out on this stage with her. The guilt has been so thick. I feel like I'm in this never ending cycle of fighting for what my family needs and getting to the point of almost giving up and then remembering who and what I am fighting for and finding just enough new strength to keep going. I hate not having enough in me to fight and also maintain a sense of normalcy around the house. I am finally at the point where I am going to let the cards fall where they may and fight when I can but I am refocusing on my family's needs in the present.

I have also started a new position at work that is challenging in a wonderful way and in a terrible, sense of dread every day way. I was given an amazing opportunity and I want to succeed and I have been fortunate enough to have pulled off many successes in my career through hard work but this time I might not succeed and that is taking a toll on me as well. I know my personal stress is spilling over into my work and I am trying my darnedest to kept one exclusive of the other.

I'm not sure where to go from here but moving forward happens whether I like it or not whether I like the circumstances or not. So here I am, battling to take the smallest of steps to get the biggest of end results. That's all I can do for now. That, and admire the reflection of my car windshield as it sits...parked in the middle of our lawn, never to grace the asphalt in front of our current house ever again.