Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Preschool Search

It seems like the farther along I get into this mothering gig, the more I think and know and the more I find out I don’t know squat. I like that though. I like to get schooled on the ways of the world. It keeps me on my toes and reminds me that even though I think I know…I really do have no idea. 

So, somewhere in my head I seemed to build up this magnificent idea that once a child hit a certain age, they went to preschool, as simple as that. Preschool…. the very word brings to mind the smell of crushed up crayons, stale sandwiches, dried finger pains, and afternoon snacks…the stuff of dreams. What I didn’t realize was a child “needing” to go to preschool and actually “going” where two totally different things. Preschool, I would come to find out, is not mandatory and only holds sessions between the hours of 9am-12pm. That’s it, 3 hours of unabashed childhood excellence maybe 2-3 times a week. I, being naive and new to this whole school bureaucracy thing, was kind of surprised to find out that no full time preschool situations exist. The key was to find one that had “before” and “after” care (read: from a child’s perspective: mommy doesn’t love you enough to pick you up by lunch time) ugh! I will forever try to make sure my child doesn’t have to go into after care but there’s no way I can swing a 12pm pick up! So the truth, I found out; most preschools seem to be set up for SAHMs or part-timers or someone who can work around that schedule. I was disheartened and almost gave up after I came to this realization a few months back, as a full time work out of the home mom, I would not be able to send my kid to a "real" preschool.  For working moms, the option it seems, is full time daycare with a preschool curriculum. Luckily, Emma’s daycare goes all the way up to pre-k (which I also found out is for those kids who turn five after September of the start of the school year….yippie for one more year of paying exuberant daycare costs!) 

For some reason though, I just could not let the idea of preschool go. There were several reasons for this, one being that even though I like Emma’s current daycare, there have been several small instances that have bothered me. She is still the only girl in her class which, gender stereotypes aside, makes me raise an eyebrow when she comes home acting extra aggressive. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the facility with its large classrooms and floor to ceiling windows and two huge playgrounds with bikes to ride and a huge courtyard to go on “Nature Walks.” Not to mention the structured curriculum and the reports/ newsletters and extracurricular activities they host, like gymnastics and soccer. On paper, it’s great, top notch, and you sure PAY for the shiny facility and structured curriculum but, that doesn’t mean that place has it all. And what I feel is the missing piece from her current daycare, we found at another place. A place that I thought only existed in fairytales. It’s a preschool with YEAR ROUND before and after care and classes!!! It’s very small, the complete opposite of the corporate run place she’s at now, and that gives it the homey, personal touch I was looking for. A place where they connect with the kids and really address any aggressive or upsetting behaviors with loving and caring alternatives, not just “we don’t do that” discipline. The teachers are doing their life’s work and the overall environment seems to be filled with love, plus they go on field trips! (which both excites me and makes me nervous as hell) and they put on a Christmas pageant! (which I’ve always wanted my kids to be in for some reason) and the icing on the cake…we have a friend’s recommendation! 

My husband and I actually went to visit the place a few weeks back and even with all of the amazingness; it still took me a full week to finally decide to move Emma to the new place. I know from the description it seems like it would have been a no-brainer but, my husband will have to alter his work schedule a bit and we will have to coordinate days off when the center is closed (it has a winter and a spring break). The other reason I took so long to decide is that Emma has been at the same daycare since she was 8 weeks old. She knows where everything is located, she knows all the teachers and other students and she genuinely seems to like the place. It’s all she has ever known, plus it’s in my office building. If there was ever another earth quake or a sink hole or an Armageddon like asteroid storm, I could be right there by her side within, probably under 2 minutes. Just knowing I have my family right there with me at work is a real joy. I don’t ever feel alone there because I know she is physically nearby. Having that was a tremendous help for me to transition into being a working mom. We both had a need to be close to each other and while that is still the case, I know we are beginning to enter that point in time where she needs me less and can thrive on her own. It’s just hard admitting that, which is why it took me a week to get to the place where I am comfortable letting her go into a new world without me nearby, a magical place called preschool. 

Coming January 2015…


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

A Tale of Two Lovies

About a year or so ago, I seemed to have this idea that Emma had found her lifelong lovie, her Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. For those that need a brief explanation, a “lovie” is a child’s favorite comfort item/ best friend/ go to thing that they must have everywhere with them at all times. So for a while, I thought we’d lucked out and Emma had picked a stuffed animal to see her through the good and bad times that was a universally loved character and would be easy to replace should tragedy strike. I feel like there’s a Winnie the Pooh bear at every toy store, drugstore, airport, and roadside stand so we would be safe if he was to get lost or ruined at any time. 

Well the months passed and Emma’s monogamous relationship with Winnie the Pooh evolved into an all-out love fest that included Mickey Mouse, Curious George, Goofy, the velveteen Rabbit, and several baby dolls. I thought we'd dodged a bullet, my child didn't seem to have a preference for any one single item so there was no need to worry about anything getting lost, or accidently thrown out, or covered in vomit, or run over by a Mac truck. We’re good. And things stayed the course for a long time until slowly a few key players seemed to always find their way into Emma’s bed and then they seemed to find their way out into the living room with her and even sometimes into the dreaded car. It should have clicked then for me that the same two things kept coming with us wherever we went but me and my motherly buffoonery did not notice anything happening. Until one night…

I was peacefully sleeping, which I am so thankful to get to do these days, when I heard a cry come from Emma’s room. I got up to see what was wrong, went into her room, and comforted her until she went back to sleep. The next morning, I asked her why she was crying last night (thinking it might be nightmares) and her response came flying at me like a ton of bricks… “I lost my baby and I was sad mommy and I cannot sleep without my baby!” In slow motion but all at once, my eyes popped out of my head and my jaw dropped to the floor. Storm clouds quickly gathered over our living room and I swore I heard O Fortuna streaming in the background. I was suddenly acutely aware that my sweet slumberful nights now depended on a 13 inch piece of cotton with a fleece pink dress and two yellow yarn braids coming out of a Paddington bear like pink hat! 

I knew which baby she meant. I had purposefully picked this baby to be the “sleep in bed only” baby doll as the rest were always covered in dirt and dog hair the minute they left Emma’s room. I always make sure she has a few things in her bed to snuggle and that doll was one of them and now all of a sudden, it had become a necessity. To give a brief background on this particular baby doll, it was given to Emma by her great grandmother probably when she was about 9 months old or so. It was the first baby doll she ever received and I was weary about it (gender stereotypes and all) but Emma loved it so we kept it.  I thought for sure it was a specialty doll or something random and obscure that we would never be able to replace but…

There she is in all her ready to be ordered glory! Thank you internet universe! After that first bad night, I found the original baby stuck between the bed and the wall so… crisis averted! We’ve had a few close calls when baby does happen to make it out to the car or the living room (which I have been giving in on more and more…) but for the most part, there have been no loses. Since the first night we discovered Emma’s sleep depended on a baby doll, she has woken up a handful of times crying because she cannot find baby but each time it’s a quick fix (baby likes to travel to the foot of the bed it seems.) So there you have it, lovie #1.

My eyes just darted up and I realize this has become a long post already and I haven’t even addressed the SECOND lovie. Yes, we have been blessed with not one, but two items my child cannot sleep without/ has to have with her everywhere. This second lovie might be even more important than the first, it’s Emma’ s blankie. If you dare misplace Emma’s blankie, a toddler tantrum vortex, the likes you have never seen before, will swallow you up and drag you down to the flaming hot gates of HELL! You know, no pressure. The story of the balnkie pretty much parallels the story of the baby doll, only I was more aware that she had a dependency on it, I was just in denial about it for whatever reason. This blankie is a green, thermal, Gerber baby blanket that seriously is NO LONGER MADE (well in green). Being clairvoyantly savvy before Emma was born, I had ordered three of them knowing what dangers lurk out there for wonderful blankets. One of the blankets didn’t make it through an unfortunate diaper explosion back in 2012. The other two, thank goodness, are intact and still around after all this time even though Emma has definitely out grown them, yet still insists on using only them as a source of warmth. Literally she refuses to use any other blanket at night and will end up with either her torso or her claves/ feet exposed. It is great having two since we always have one while the other gets washed but that means both are CRITICAL. It’s like a ying and yang balance that gets thrown off if either blanket goes missing. And one day, one did…

It was a Monday and Emma was upset she could not find her blanket to take to school with her (which is forbidden because we’ve lost a big box store’s worth of baby inventory at daycare so yeah I let her bring them in the car but no further.) After a long search, a meltdown that I don’t even want to replay in my mind to describe here, and several frantic phone calls to the hubs, I was sure it was lost forever (this is the day I found out they do not make the green one anymore, they have white or pink but um yeah not the same). Anyways we finally found blankie in the back of daddy’s car. At that point I made it crystal clear to the entire household that blankie was to NEVER leave the house under any circumstances and we’ve been fine since. 

I’m not sure if one really reigns supreme over the other. Both seem to have the same mesmerizing grip on her. In a way, I’m glad she has comfort items to turn to if things ever get rough. I just hope we never have to part with the originals. 


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

A Halloween Recap

It is November already! Once again, we have a month ahead jam packed with birthdays, baptisms, days of materialistic wonder, and hopefully not too much eating but before I look ahead, I want to look back and recap our Halloween adventures.

It all started the weekend before last. We had an awesome time at a friend’s Halloween party. I mentioned before we were laboring on some pretty awesome handmade costumes for the event. This year instead of going as a family theme like last year, I made the decision to do something different for us and Emma. I sort of wished I went the full on homemade family costume route but there is always next year…

Our theme for this Halloween was Robin Williams’ characters. Since most of the characters he played are professor types or plainly dressed men, we decided to pick two of the most outlandish character costumes. And thus Rainbow Ralph from Death to Smootchie and the genie from Aladdin were created!



We had a great time putting the costumes together. I really enjoy using my hands to create and I was glad I mustered up the time and energy to follow through on the costume. It took me weeks, only working a few hours at a time, to finish the rainbow layers on jacket (it was a plain woman’s suit jacket I got from the thrift store). It’s hard to tell but I sprayed it with glitter to make it shinier and added the large white collar out of foam. I glued some sparkles onto the hat and added gloves, a purple shirt, and a yellow bow tie and there you have it!
 
For Thomas' costume, we got the shirt and pants from the thrift store. The blue thing on his head is a swim cap we got at Rei. I felt like we would get kicked out of the place by the granola eating hikers if they dared to find out we actually bought a swim cap with absolutely no intention of using it for sport (other than the sport of showing off our awesome costuming skills!) The hair coming out of the cap was from an old wig and the sash was left over from an old costume. The cuffs were made out of the left over foam from my jacket collar painted gold. 



And as for Emma…Well really all the guess work was taken out of her costume. The costume parade at school was a nightmare and after her meltdown (partially pictured above) I was worried about what would happen later but, she really enjoyed herself on Halloween night (btw those are NON organic fruit snacks I brought to the party...NOT any Pintrestie wonderfulness - score one for the working mom). Once she figured out trick or treating meant she was getting candy at each hous she was super excited. We went with some friends around their neighborhood and stuck mainly to the houses with lights and decorations. I’m not sure what Halloween etiquette is these days. Do people go to all the houses on the street? I felt more at easy going to the obviously decorated houses instead. We only hit a handful of houses but Emma still enjoyed herself and her candy afterwards. 






It was a really peaceful and fun evening without any major meltdowns or costume malfunctions. All in all a great success for Halloween 2014! Feel free to leave a link to your Halloween recaps in the comments!