The 5 O'Clock Mom

I grew up in a household with two working parents. Both of them worked full days. They both worked really hard to give my siblings and I a good life. Neither of my parents had to much control over their work schedules. They worked their office hours and that was that. This meant my sister and I were always in afterschool care.

My mom probably got to us when she could, around 5:30pm or so. There were a handful of times we were the last kids there, but it was a rare occurance. Looking back it seems to me to that it probably was a good arrangement, we got extra time to hang out with kids and there was mandatory homework time which meant we were homework free once we got home, but for some reason I remember as a kid that it was terrible. For one, all of my friends from school weren't there. They got to go home as soon as that last bell rang. There was also a really negative stigma associated with having to stay afterschool, from a child's perspective. All of my friends, and pretty much every kid at school knew it was a fate worse than eating your vegetables to not be able to go home as soon as school let out. I mean I kind of get it, we'd been there all day and no matter how much I sometimes disliked being at home I was always releaved to see my mom show up. What I do remember with clear precision is that you were really, really not cool if you were the last kid there. That was the lowest of the low point as a kid, being the last kid in aftercare. Looking back again, part of this thought process probably came from the fact that a lot of kids, at my school in particular, only had one working parent as it was more common place back then. These days though a two income household is more the standard.

Fast forward to now, I have to work but, I also have the flexibility to pick my own work scheuld to a point. This has allowed me to be with Emma in the afternoons. I would get to her right after her afternoon snack time. Right on time every (almost every) day, there I was. I was probably one of the first parents there. It felt good to be able to swoop in like a super hero at 3:40pm and get her while she was still happy and energized from nap time. And I loved it.

These days it has been a bit challenging trying to get to her before 5pm. I have to transfer trains and then battle traffic to get to my kid who is cranky from hunger and way over sitting in the same room for almost 10 hours (they do get to go outside weather permitting.) I end up pulling up to the place and parking at the end of a very long line of cars of other drained parents after a long day at work eager to pick up their own cranky tikes (I've seen a few epic meltdowns coming out of that place.) It's all new and unfamiliar territory to me, but I guess it's really the norm for most parents. I was super lucky before to have the situation I did with Emma being so close. It was a great transition for me into motherhood to be able to have her pretty much right there with me. As my career grows I never want to miss out on anything she does and I will always fight for that time with her. But for now, I am gradually stepping into my new role of the 5 o'clock mom.