Now I’m sure this topic has come up before. I haven’t run across this particular genre but you get the idea. Every time you go to an event: birthday party, soccer game, play group, a classroom setting, you get the usual set of kidos that fall into familiar categories be it the “tattle tell” or the “complainer” or “the kid who talks way too much” there just always seems to be one of each of these in a crowd (this applies to adults as well I might add).
So I entered new territory last week, an event that was saturated with such high expectations, nostalgia, and overall excitement that I literally could barely stand the wait.
Yes, I am talking about Emma’s first ever stage performance!!! Now it should be known that I do come from a theatrical family (however I was always a more behind the scenes type.) I never liked being on stage but everyone else in my family has been in some type of show or another (even my very shy brother). I graced the stage once in the epic eight grade musical of “A Christmas Carol.” The “all-star” cast included myself as the nephew Fred’s wife (literally that was her name in the script which greatly disturbed me as a young budding feminist who wished her character’s identity did not depend on that of her husband.)
Ok I digress…. Anyway overall, I think theater and everything that goes along with it (set design, sound, lighting, the music, the action) is great for anyone to experience so I was glad Emma had a chance. I’ve seen home footage of kiddie performances before so I sort of knew what to expect but it’s ten times more amazing in person because you get to see all of the kids doing crazy, off-the-wall things. From that, I found myself noticing several kids standing out for their “unique” behavior (don’tworry Emma was one of them.) So without further adue, I give you the kids you see at a school performance:
- The nose picker: Definitely not the worst offender but you can’t help but feel somewhat sorry for their parents (it could happen to anyone really so maybe you are just grateful it wasn’t your kid.) It is one of the most entertaining parts of the show as you see the kid slowly start to move their finger toward the gold mine. Then anticipation builds as they hover close for several seconds and then…WAM! After they’re in, you realize they aren’t pulling their finger out of itscomfy cocoon for the rest of the show. Singing whilepicking is a talent.
- The kid that is totally doing their own thing: Silly hand gestures, check, funky dancing, double check, Billy…yeah Billy is running up and down the stage in back banging on pots and pans like a punk rock drummer. This kid unknowingly steals the show with their enthusiastic antics. You hope he doesn’t end up throwing the wooden spoon prop out into the audience (or well maybe you do, the show has been in a lull these last few minutes.)
- The “overly excited” kid: This is it! This is the moment! This is the kid who is totally in their element! They eat, sleep, and dream Beyonce and already have their own YouTube channel so this “community theater thing” is small potatoes. They are the ones who jump the highest, sing the loudest, and over exaggerate every choreographed hand gesture to a t. So they knock a few kids over in the process? No one stands in the way of this future Broadway star. Give me the lead or give me death!
- The “deer in the headlights” kid: This kid is staring off into space not sure what is going on. Even though they probably practiced the 2 minute song 50 times, this kid has no clue why the class is singing or how they got onto a stage. These kids were the first to get trampled by overly excited kid.
- And finally….The shirt puller upper: Yes we have made it to Emma’s category. I guess kids fidget during shows and idle hands take over and the next thing you know…my kid is standing there topless for the world. It was the longest minute or two of my life watching and not being able to do anything. It was like a girlsgone wild nightmare for this feminist mom. Finally, her teacher made her way over and pulled Emma’sshirt down. I never thought my kid would be the “indecent exposure” kid but there you have it.
So now you know what to look for at your next Preschool musical theater extravaganza. And if you want any advice from me it would be….put an extra t-shirt on your kid!