Thursday, September 28, 2017

The End and the Beginning

Sorry this is being posted late. Life man, but here it is...



It’s late on a Saturday night, way past Emma’s bedtime. She just finished a lightsaber battle with her dad. Late nights have been frequent this week. With camp done for the summer, this week is Emma’s last before school starts. I know I am supposed to get her on a better sleep schedule for school but I find myself unable to. I think back to when we were looking for a house in an neighborhood with a good school to send Emma to. The idea of her actually attending that school seemed so distant at the time, a school she would eventually go to but you know, not for a long time.


The time and space between those thoughts and the present day has all but disappeared. I find myself sitting here with 48 hours until she heads out the door for elementary school. I feel myself being pulled in the direction of reflection. I went from having a helpless little baby, new to the world, to a very physically and mentally independent child. So much change, so many adventures and lessons learned and laughs and cries and silly worries. How did I ever spend so much time and energy worrying about what sippy cup to get her or what baby food to feed her? How, when she can sling back a cup of water without a second thought, cram a taco in her mouth without blinking, and zoom down the driveway on her scooter like she is about to take off. It’s like the universe of my precious person has exploded over the past few months. She’s beginning to read, she’s asking me specific questions about the world, the never ending stream of whys coming at me a hundred miles an hour, it is hard to keep up.


I am trying my best to keep the delicate balance of knowledge and childhood innocence, I never realized how it would be infinitely harder to do this than figure out how to potty train a toddler (one of the hardest challenges I’ve faced with her to date.) There is still so much I haven’t had an opportunity to teach her and yet, I find myself torn between that and wanting to just stare at her while she plays. Like there is never enough time for both.

Well friends, my time is up. The first chapter of childhood is two days away from fading into the prologue. And that is why I have tried to give her a magical summer. We kept a loose schedule, we have taken our time. I have let her run out in the yard until the fireflies came out. I have done everything I possibly can to slow down time, to hold on. Now I know it is time to let go. The adventures aren’t ending, just a new one is beginning.






No comments:

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear from you!