Thoughts On 33

Another year has gone by for me in this human existence. Another year of hard work, love, friendships, success, and loss. Another year of learning who I am, what the world is, and how I somehow fit into it. Another year where my likes are revalidated (hello chocolate) and my dislikes deepen (misogyny). I find myself becoming more passionate and vocal about what bothers me and actually acting on it. Maybe because I am raising a tiny human who will inherit this earth from me and also because this year more so than any other, I feel like I am finally owning up to being an adult and the full weight of responsibilities that come along with it. Now of course that does not mean that my house is well put together or I can cook or I dress appropriately but looking back on this year, I have made progress in the right direction.

This year has been sort of back and forth with my blogging and writing. I still need to muster up the courage to actually submit something somewhere. I’m still hopeful to do that in the very near future. I am not posting as frequently as I would like but that usually means I'm resting or working on some other scatter brained project so, there's the secret of what I'm up to when I ignore this space. I actually have two (nonwriting) ventures I'm working on with friends so hopefully there will be some development there in the near future. I wanted to take a writing class this year too but it didn't work out. Not to say that next year it won't. I'm actually going to try to do a better job of making it happen. I am also working on developing my skills at work. Again, I wanted to take a major class associated with work but lack of funding meant that I would have to pay for it myself and I wasn't ready to commit there just yet since I wasn't sure what the return on investment might be. I find myself at this weird place in my career where I would love to take more classes/ training/ even go back for my Masters but I'm not sure any of that would propel me far forward enough to make the kind of money that would cover the cost of everything. So for now, this sits on the back burner as a "one day" dream.

The beginning of this year was sort of slow and uneventful which is the best kind of life to live in my opinion for the simple fact that the alternative can be difficult. I entered into difficult territory in the later half of the year. I have not disclosed it here but I did go through a surgery and then had a scare recently about a possible second (unrelated) surgery scenario. I have not shared my thoughts and feelings about the two events here. I know if I would it would be some of my most open and honest writing. The thing is, I’m not sure I’m ready to open up on here just yet. It is all very raw and very personal and frankly, writing about it would just stir up emotions I am trying to distance myself from right now. There is still the possibility I will need to undergo a second surgery but I am really trying to stay positive about it, especially with the holidays coming up. 

I forget on these birthday posts if I give myself goals for the following year. I don't think I'd like to hold myself accountable really (I know how adult of me) but I will say this, I am hoping to continue to take more time here and there to focus on myself and what I love. With Emma getting more and more independent, I have finally figured out a good balance for cleaning the house, planning family time, and finding time for myself. I hope to keep this up in the coming years along with continuing to work on my health and never take it for granted. Kind of a heavy birthday post but there it is. 

Hoping everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

October Festivities

I know I'm at the tail end of the first week of November but at least I'm posting this before Thanksgiving so I'd say I'm ahead of the game! I really wanted to just share a simple post detailing what we did as a family in October (aka a photo dump post <-- you have been warned!). The mini adventures of the Pattersons if you will. Really a few of these adventures should be their own post but I doubt anyone wants to hear about the month of October through the first of December so I'll leave you with this. I also love having these "what we did " posts to look back on to remember all of the little things.

We started off the month going to the farm. I gotta tell you I love Fall and I looooove farms so getting there asap was a must. It was actually pretty chilly out that weekend and had just stopped raining that morning. After several wet days, conditions were pretty muddy but we slogged through it. Just as an aside, I love the thrift store for rain boots (really all boots) because they are something that don't get worn too often but when I went to get Emma some they were completely out (I wasn't type A enough to get to them first I guess.) Thus Emma's winter boots made an appearance on the farm trip.

Emma's dad really has a way with animals and I definitely see Emma has inherited that trait as well. They seem to just come to her. It's amazing to see.

 I think this face says "I love farms too mom!"

Next, we ventured over to the pumpkin patch. I think this place just sort of rounds up a bunch of kid sized pumpkins and dumps them in a field but I'm no pumpkin farmer so I could be wrong. I'm just suspicious about the uniformity of them all but like all the other suburbanite zombies, I merrily went along my way just happy to be submersed in rural culture.

Of course I wanted a happy family pumpkin patch selfie but I was out voted two to one so I did the next best thing....took an awkward lonely mom selfie. "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...nobody knows my sorrow..."

Meanwhile in other October events... soccer continues. Emma is still doing well with listening although she is having trouble understanding why others are not "sharing the ball." I think she is slowly starting to understand team work and what the concept of the sport is, but for now, I'm just happy she is trying and enjoying herself. (They play in the gym when it's raining or too cold outside which I love.)

Another special October moment was my first night away from Emma. It was our four year wedding anniversary this year, and we went out of town for a night. We had a relaxing trip hiking around the little island and fishing off the pier at night. I did miss Emma but it wasn't so bad being away. I actually really needed a rest. We will definitely go back again for another short get away in the future.

The weekend after that, we went to a truck touch which was so awesome! We've been before but really they never get old. I don't remember them having these when I was a kid and, I really wish they had. I ended up driving a commercial vehicle for a few years and the hubs was a heavy machine mechanic in the army so double axle vehicles are in Emma's blood and it shows.

And now finally if you've made it this far, you are in for a treat. May I present the 2015 Patterson Halloween costumes: superheroes! It's no secret that we are pretty serious about Halloween around these parts. Last year we did not go as a family costume and I missed it so this year we went all out. Hubby and I made Emma a superhero costume for her birthday and when I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween she, to my great excitement, said SUPERHERO! When we made the costume, we asked her what colors she wanted it to be and she originally said pink and gray. I could not find a shinny gray fabric without it looking too silver and, I thought the blue gave it the punch it needed so we went with those colors and I'm so glad we did!

I added the wig and the shirt to Emma's costume for Halloween and then got to work on my own costume. I decided I didn't want to be "super mommy" and "super K" didn't seem quite right either so I just left my cape a simple lightning bolt, as did daddy. For the rest, I actually came up with my costume based on the cheapest options available. I lucked out and found the sparkly dress at the thrift store on half off day and got it for $1.50! I kid you not! I had the tights from an 80s party a while back and, I just taped a cut up feather boa to boots I already owned (again I paid like a dollar for the boa at the thrift store) and there you have it! Pattersons assemble!

We ended up trick or treating with friends who also have a 3 year old girl and their friends as well. There were three 3 year old girls running around like hyper, excited chipmunks! It was seriously the best Halloween of all time! I mean other than a few really funny incidents at some college Halloween parties, this was hands down, the best Halloween of my life. Seeing the excitement on their faces and watching them run from house to house yelling trick or treat and giggling their little hearts out was amazing. I only got a few blurry pictures but you get the idea...

We called it a night after about 10 houses or so because they were so wound up and it was getting late. I seriously cannot wait for next year!

I do so cherish the month of October and all of its possibilities. I think there's a quote somewhere about if only life was a sequence of never ending Octobers, I think I'd be ok with that.