The Perfect Tantrum

When I originally sat down to write this post I defaulted to my usual melancholy, gloom cloud, soul wrenching explanation of what has been going on. In an effort to stick to my new, brighter outlook on things, I decided to write this instead. To set the scene, in short, I got a note from daycare...the worst kind of note you could get...my child is the "unruly" kid in class. As is my normal MO upon hearing the news, the ground moved from under my feet and sucked me down the black hole of mommy guilt from which it seemed I was doomed to never return. Once the acid burning my eyes from the neon highlighter faded away (yes the note was HIGHLIGHTED) I started to digest the situation in an non-panicky way of course (yeah right).

I freaked out. I haven't been with my kid enough, I haven't been doing what I'm supposed to be doing in order for her to succeed in her little daycare universe. I am a terrible mom. These where the mildly horrible thoughts that ran through my head. I was a miserable wreck. In all honesty, helping her walk and talk (two fundamental skills she will use for life) was small potatoes compared to this new endeavor...teaching her how to share and tolerate others (something I am still working on as an adult). This task seems impossible, especially with someone who barely talks much less understands or has the patience to understand what I'm trying to tell her.

Needless to say, I immediately sprung into action that night with a game of "share with mommy" which ended in a ferocious scream fest that lasted two full hours with no relief for my poor ear drums in sight. This behavior has sadly gone from the exception to the standard. Where has my sweet baby gone? I thought we had already entered the worst of the "tantrum" stage but oh naïve little me was sooo very wrong. A few grumblings over not getting her way before have nothing on the sippy cup throwing, hand flailing, lung straining toddler I see before me. Rather than submit and crumple into a little ball and hide in fear until she moves out of the house, I've decided to take the humoristic approach. It seems to be the only thing that has gotten me through the truly deplorable parenting trenches before and I'm sure it won't be the last time it does either.

So without further ado, I give you a synopsis of Emma's tantrum on the car ride home the other night, quite possibly the perfect tantrum, set to music (had I the time I would have edited these together thus making this post a lot less interactive but certainly more to the point, as it is I hope you are able to follow along):

It all started innocently enough: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRxofEmo3HA - play for 9 seconds

10 seconds later there is a glimmer in her eye, something diabolically evil is on the horizon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQVo0dk0nRM - play for 27 seconds

27 seconds later a decision has been made, she is NOT happy and guess what? I am now going to hear about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSvFpBOe8eY play from 2:11-2:25 over and over for about 10 minutes

after 10 minutes of very unmusical like "chop suey" there is a strange burst of laughter, possibly evil, but more methodical if you ask me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP4abiHdQpc play for 40 seconds

then with no warning whatsoever, we're back to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dev2aDI_dHM yeah just play the whole thing

And then magically we are home and she's asking to see her doggies like nothing happened. That's been about 70% of our evenings together lately. Don't get me wrong I love my child more than anything (and no I do not listen to Slipknot like ever). We are still working on her sharing and acceptance of others but someone remind me again...when are the terrible twos over?