Rebel Mom

Rebel Mom        

It recently came to my attention that I am not a rule follower (ok that’s not the truth I have known for years.) If you have known me at all my entire life you know, I have rebel tendencies. In other words, I haven’t been a hardcore rule follower. I’m not really a rule breaker, I’m more of the “loosey goosey, it’s up for interpretation” type. You need to microwave something for 10 minutes! (ha, I’m going to do it in 7.) You need to get your oil changed every 3 months (ha, I’m stretching it to 5 months!) And thus you get the idea of my rule breaking agenda. Granted, most of the time, the rules I brake end up coming back to bite me in the but, but I have always refused to be boxed into what society deems correct. Then, I had a kid. Suddenly, rules meant everything! I was in charge of a human being that I had to keep alive! So for months, I researched, scrutinized, and became obsessively paranoid with anything having to do with my baby (being indecisive does not help during this time – or any time- either.)

I have to say that after 9 or 10 months, once she started walking and a lot of the major baby/physical milestones were over, I kind of broke away from my excessive rule following. This was in part due to all of the reading I had done on various subjects. A lot of things said to just let Emma develop on her own and not get frustrated if she didn’t do things by a certain time (I’m glad I followed this advice now, seeing as how she completed all of her baby milestones early and is taking extra time completing the toddler milestones – um potty training and letter recognition much?) I swear Emma is bright, intelligent, and uses the word “actually” on a regular basis but ask her to point to the letter “A” and spoiler alert: it Ain’t happening.

No surprise, I seem to have strayed from my point. Maybe I’m making excuses for it, maybe I am plotting out some wickedly awesome explanation but the long and short of it is, I ignored one big rule. I guess what I am referring to is not so much rule breaking as it is rule bulldozing…. I did not wait for Emma to turn two before I let her watch tv. In fact, by the age of two, she already could recognize a fair amount of tv characters that included Mickey Mouse, Elmo, and the other usual suspects.  I know she started watching before she was one but didn’t really get super into tv shows until closer to 1 ½ or so. The terrible reason for my rule ignoring was not so she could enjoy the wholesome programing that Sesame street has to offer, it was because I needed a break. I needed to cook dinner. I needed to clean the house. We were snowed in for days. I needed a minute to myself to regain my sanity. Really there are a lot of reasons for Emma’s tv consumption that all revolve around me. I will own up to it. I sincerely hope my child does not suffer from depression, obesity, social anxieties, or becomes addicted to television because of my less than desirable tv standards. I watched a lot of tv growing up but I do not attribute it to the majority of my problems as an adult. 

Even though I was lax on the actual age she began to watch, I am a ragging tv dictator the rest of the time. TV is allowed on weekend mornings and every so often during the week (if I am very tired after work or I have a more complicated dinner to put together.) Occasionally, there will be a weekend movie night and when we have a long car trip, Emma will watch a movie. Or, if she is under the weather then I put no limits on sick day tv watching. This is easier to follow in the summer than in the winter. In fact, weekend mornings and the occasional movie is pretty much it for us in the summer.  There have also been times when we have gone completely without tv. Last winter, things spiraled out of control and it seemed like the tv was on all the time. When the majority of your child’s conversations revolve around a Mickey Mouse episode plot then you know you have a problem. Tantrums were had (by both my child and my husband) but we successfully went for weeks without the tv on during the day. It can be done but it is difficult. The other times the tv has gone silent was after a very epic, mean tantrum Emma threw that lasted over an hour one day. The disciplinary action taken was no tv for the entire day (we have not had a major incident like that since.) The other time we had to switch tv watching gears was when Emma picked up the bad attitude of one Donald Duck of the Mousekateer clan. We watched only Sesame street for a month or so afterwards and then slowly but surely, Emma’s precious Mickey Mouse came back. We haven’t had many problems since then and also since then; she has finally expanded her tv show viewing requests to include other things besides Mickey Mouse (that was all she wanted to watch for a VERY long time.)

And there you have it, my take on tv. I’m not writing to say my way is better than anyone else’s. It’s not. I’m writing to commiserate with other mom’s over the decision and let them know what works for our family and maybe to say that if you have figured out the magical harmony of running a household/ raising a child that does not involve some tv viewing then please let me know your secret!