Thursday, February 19, 2015

The Mom Quiz

As the cold winter days drag on pulling me into a seemingly endless abyss, I find myself going a bit stir crazy. It seems as if my toddler shares in my sentiments and thus the past few weeks have been difficult to say the least. Based on our current weather forecast, the chance for any relief is looking dismal. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t know if my back or my patience can handle everything that goes along with being confined to a small living space. I’m willing to bet a few of you are feeling the same so, I’ve come up with a “mom quiz” to test your winter sanity. Just in case you’re unsure of whether you are really losing it or just having a bad reaction to the dry air. Don’t forget to score yourself at the end!
Mom Quiz Winter Addition:
You’ve been stuck inside the house with your needy toddler for so long that when they demand a game of hide and seek you:
a)      Gleefully play along! Counting to ten a million times can only improve your pronunciation skills.
b)      Make sure to look EVERYWHERE in the house. Your child will be wickedly amused by their cleverness to outsmart you with their cunning ninja vanishing skills and you get to add steps to your ftibit workout! Bonus!
c)       Start counting loudly and trail off somewhere after two. Grab cell phone and blanket and hide in a lump on the couch. It was your turn to hide right?
d)      Start counting and suddenly remember you heard the mailman drop by a few minutes earlier and rush to the door to hear news from the outside world.
You have all this extra time at home so you can be productive around the house! Do you:
a)      Reorganize the file cabinet, er the stack of papers that have been piling up in that corner of the house no one dares go to.
b)      Finally research healthy, new and exciting dinners and meal plan for a whole month!
c)       Catch up on all the laundry! A dream come true!
d)      Look up after being held captive by your overly clingy toddler for hours doing arts and crafts and realize not only did nothing get done, but the house is a bigger mess than when you started.
You toddler is finally napping and you just sat down on the couch after picking up all of their toys. You see one lowly plastic something or other on the other side of the room obstructing your perfectly clean floor. Do you:
a)      Walk over and pick it up, it will only take a second.
b)      Hope your husband picks it up when he gets home in 4 hours.
c)       Hope your child takes initiative and picks it up after they wake up refreshed from their nap!
d)      Hope your invisible maid picks it up.
e)      Hope one of the dogs finds it and eats it so you have one less toy to worry about.
You have used up all of the arts and crafts supplies and have no other suitable amusements for your child (aka: your child only wants to do arts and crafts). In desperation, you turn to the tv to help. Do you:
a)      Limit screen time to 30 minutes and put on an educational nature show.
b)      Say tv be damned and break out some fabulous finger puppets!
c)       Tie the ipod to your child’s hand and call it a day.
d)      Give in to your child’s demands and watch the only working 45 minutes of the used, warped Monster’s Inc. dvd (that your father-in-law so lovingly salvaged at his neighbor’s yard sale) over and over again.
You are desperate to get out of the house but almost everything is closed and the roads are treacherous. Do you:
a)      Troll Pintrest for some indoor science experiments and hope you have the supplies on hand.
b)      Bundle up your potty training toddler in 5 layers of clothing to go play out in the snow and pray they don’t have an accident in their only pair of snow paints.
c)       Brave the roads and head over to the local Kmart, land of opportunity, wide isles for children to run, and evil shoppers who judge you when they see your child running full speed holding “fragile” glassware down aisle 9.
Did you write down your answers?!?!?! Great!!!! Now to score yourself: add 10 points for every letter you chose and multiply it by infinity cause guess what?!?! There are no right answers when it comes to managing your cabin-fever sanity as a mom (or person in general.) In case it wasn’t glaringly obvious, here are my real life answers: C, D, E, D, and C.
That’s it for this winter addition of the mom sanity quiz! Stay warm and sane everyone!

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