Greener Grass

It’s been pretty quiet around here this past week and to be honest I have not been doing too much. We had a fun weekend which I will post about but in all honesty, last week was just one of those rough weeks. It’s life’s little curve balls that twist their way into your carefully crafted plans that casue problems. For me, it has been a week of uncertainty and what-ifs. I am waiting to hear back on the start date for my new job but, in the meantime, I have been thinking that this is a turning point in my career and overall as a mom.

My path to becoming a working mom at first seemed to be a simple one. I had been raised to be independent and to choose a career that would support myself and my family. Not working was never an option much less a passing thought in my mind. When I got pregnant, I planned everything out easily. There were no blips on my radar when I found a daycare and set my return date for work because well, in my world it would be just that. Go have a baby, return to work, life goes on. Except, something happened in those weeks away from work. Once my maternity leave was over, I found myself in a very different place than just weeks before. The sharp, focused career woman had softened. My priorities shifted and I found myself in a new place. I wanted to be home with my child.

We all know ultimately the decision I made, mainly out of necessity at the time and that necessity still exists. However, as I find myself once again (ironically a year later) in a place of change. There’s been another shift and the fork in the road seems to be defining itself once again. I have this job opportunity waiting for me and at the same time, I could just say forget it all and be with my child. As of now, the fence I am sitting on is leaning toward the work side due to financial need, but as I wait in this weird limbo, I can’t help but peak over onto the other side of the fence, onto what could be and that grass is looking really really green.