When I found out I was having a baby girl I cried in the
sonogram room. To be honest, it was not a cry for joy. I cried because I knew the hardships my daughter would have to face in life. I know what it takes and I know it’s tough,
especially during those roller coaster teen years. But, I also know the amazing
wonders that await just beyond the shadows of those uncertain years. With that being said, I am sharing
a letter I wrote to Emma that I will give to her during a peak point of teenage despair
because we have all been there.
Dear Teenage Emma,
By now you must have come to the realization that being a
teenager is not all it’s cracked up to be (unless maybe they have invented fly
cars or affordable 3D holograms of your favorite boy band). I’m writing this
letter to tell you that even though I am an old fuddy duddy now, I have in fact
gone through the same tough times you are going through now. The hormone
changes, the uncontrollable emotions, the boy craziness, the desire to dress in
ridiculously expensive clothes, and the hatred for anything “adult.” Oh how you
will laugh once you turn 30 and decide that is definitely NOT an old age. I
often wish I could go back and tell myself then what I know now. Since I’m
willing to bet time machines have probably not be invented yet, I am going to
share my wisdom with you. So here are a few things I want you to know to help
get you through:
- One day you will like someone and then you will
date them and then possibly fall in love with them and then some catastrophic event will
happen like they won’t answer their phone and you will end everything with an Earth
shattering break up. When that day comes I will know what to do. I will write on a small piece of paper this; Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill and leave
you to discover the magic.
- The day will come when you complain to me for
the millionth time about some pair of idiotic shoes or ridiculous jacket that
you HAVE to have but definitely WILL regret being photographed in years later.
This is what I will do. I will give you your Kmart jacket and tell you to get
in the car. Then we will drive (hopefully) far far away and I will not say a
word the entire time (I might even blast some “oldies”) then we will pull up to
a tiny house in a dilapidated neighborhood and you will look at me like I’m
crazy and then I will tell you… “This is where we used to live. Through hard
work and determination we are able to live where we do and have what we have. Never forget the importance of that.”
- You will inevitably fall for the musical charms
of a boy band and you will obsess over every precocious pop song they come out
with and when you are having a not so great week, I will surprise you
with concert tickets because I will know how much it will mean to you to go (I never
got to go see the boy band of my dreams in concert as a teen – I did as an
adult finally) and I will sit in the car with a good book or hang out with the
other parents in the parking lot smiling as I listen to the squeals.
- No matter how much you might hate school, do well
because college is awesome.
-
- For every tough situation you encounter there will
be a joyous event that counteracts that tragedy later in life. Grow apart from
friends, meet new ones in college or reconnect with your old friends later in
life. To the right in the picture above is me on the cusp of the treacherous teenage
years with my grade school friends (yes wearing a Hanson shirt…see boy band
reference above). Two years after this picture was taken I was not on speaking
terms with two of my friends and had all but lost touch with the other two. 12
years later we started meeting up once a year to catch up and connect over our
shared adult triumphs and hardships. So don’t worry if you go through rough patches with friends, you will grow and change
and during your journey you will always find people who you will connect with.
Well that’s it for now. There is infinitely more I want to
say but I will leave it for another letter or for an on the spot situation.
Just know that even if we fight or disagree I will always be there for you.
Love,
Mom
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