The Clingy, the Shy and the Fearless: Finding Her Way

Just picture it, a beautiful morning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and a sweet, innocent smile cascades off of your baby’s face on to yours. You say your good byes and head off to your perspective days, reuniting in the afternoon to pick up right where you had left off. This is what I have been privy to day in and day out, the sweet time with my child before dropping her off at daycare and after picking her up. She is usually on the crankier side when I pick her up but never anything too bad. Well, since I have greatly reduced my daily visits to daycare I have been unaware of a new development, one I had been trying to avoid. My child is a crazy cling monster! I knew she was clingy whenever I was around seeing as how this was the reason for my reduced daily visits. I hate going to see her only to have it end in tears and upsetness a few minutes later. It didn’t seem worth it to disturb her day like that. So that’s been it, I have stayed away, only to find out that she has had extreme separation anxiety anyway!

When I drop her off in the morning she is one of the first kids there at around 6:45am(I am thinking about changing my schedule to get in more family time –more on that later). So she starts off her day in one room with two caregivers and then transfers into her regular room around 8am when her caregivers get in. This means she has to leave her first room with her first set of caregivers and start fresh in another room and apparently this does not sit well with her. I was told she has a special bond with one of the ladies in the first room and I do really wish she could transfer rooms to just stay in room one but that room is full. I hate to hear that she gets upset in the transfer. That’s not the end of it though. She even clings onto whoever she is with when they go outside to the playground! I was only somewhat surprised to hear this since it takes her a while to warm up to new situations. It’s funny to me because she really is fearless. Once she gets her stride no matter how many times she falls or bumps into things she brushes it off and keeps going. But take her to the playground or put her in a new situation and shy Emma appears. I understand the comfort that comes with the known but I wish there was a way to get her past this stage!

We’ve only been to the playground a handful of times but I know with some more guidance she will learn to love it. I can see the day come when she won’t be able to hold back from the joy and freedom a playground gives. As for separation anxiety, well I think we have a while before that one disappears. She is a sweet little girl who enjoys snuggling and feeling safe and I don’t blame her for wanting to hold onto that. I know in time she will find her independence and then me and everyone else she clings to will be left in the dust. But until then I guess she will have to find her way. This too shall pass.   

 Has your child gone through a “shy” phase or a clingy phase? How long did it last? What did you do to get through it?