Conversations with People Who Don’t Have Kids

 

I did something uncharacteristic this past weekend…I went out solo to a hip, trendy location to hang out with my friend and her friends for her birthday. As I was getting dressed, I realized I had no clue what was socially acceptable “going out” clothing seeing as how it has been a while since I have had the opportunity to hang out with adults not in a playground setting. After piecing together an outfit consisting of jeans and a shirt (jeans I thought were a safe bet and shirts are nice too I suppose), I made my way over to the hip spot hoping to blend in. I ended up calling my friend to follow her over to the place since I forgot the directions she gave me twice. I knew my exhausted mom cranium wasn’t going to be able to handle directions so I did the probably not cool thing and planned ahead.

I spent almost as much time trying to find parking as I did at the event, but hey I was being hip and trendy ok? Luckily I snagged a spot I didn’t have to pay for (eek I know my frugal mom persona snuck in on my trendiness.) I know should have paid a ridiculous amount for parking…but not to fear I bounced back in the trendy department when I had to walk 20 blocks in somewhat uncomfortable scandals and I quadrupled my points by sitting on an extremely uncomfortable bar stool for several hours. I did lose major pointage when I did not order any alcohol. I literally, no joke, got booed by the waitress. I knew if I even got a strong enough whiff of alcohol I would pass out in my own drool from exhaustion.

But it seems in my long winded, two paragraph opener that I have migrated away from my original point. For the first time in a long time, I was in the presence of a group of people who did not have kids. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of friends that don’t have kids but that’s just the thing, they are my friends so they graciously allow me and my diaper explosion stories to dominate conversations. Here however, I was completely out of my element. I was hanging out with a group of people I barely knew for my friend’s birthday celebration. They were all her friends of which I knew little about. Honestly though after hearing the sound of my own voice saying “No don’t put that in your mouth” a hundred times that day, I was ok with sitting back and letting someone else do the talking.

And talk they did! There were points during the conversation I cringed and then other times I wanted to laugh until the chic water I was drinking came out of my nose. These poor clueless people! What gave the scenario an interesting twist was that all of the childless people also  happened to be teachers so they interact with children every day. I commend anyone who has the patience to work with kids on a daily basis, but it was interesting to me to hear them talk with me being so obviously on the parent side of the parent/ teacher conversation. I am the person who right now could be screwing up my child psychologically to later send off to annoy a teacher  who will later end up somewhere sitting in a bar complaining about their annoying students. GRAND!

 It wasn’t really upsetting, more of an eye opener. Basics I got from the experience:  I understand the teacher’s perspective now and I also am reevaluating sending Emma to public school. Out of the entire conversation though I did get to chime in here and there and I told them that I wondered if their perspectives would change once they had kids (knowing that they almost certainly will). They all seemed to be somewhat receptive to the idea, but the craziest (read: I have mommy brained my way into forgetting what it’s like not to have kids) thing to me was how absolutely oblivious they were to what I know as common parental knowledge. Then I thought back to when I was childless and realized I was the biggest proponent of the “I don’t care” attitude when it came to people explaining raising a child. So I completely understand where they are coming from. I just want to fast forward 5 years, to a bar, where all of these people find themselves checking their watches worrying about babysitter costs and refusing alcoholic beverages because you never know when you will be able to sleep through the night.