A Potty Training Post

Disclaimer: Emma if you are reading this at anytime before you become a mother, say in your vulnerable teenage years, I apologize in advanced. It was never my intention to have your boyfriend of one week google you and find your potty training story. That being said I can promise you two things before these horrific tales ruin any chance you have of becoming Homecoming Queen:
1. There are no embarrassing pictures & 2. I fully plan on funding any therapy sessions you may need later on in life from this or any subsequent potty post. - Mom

Ok friends it's HERE. Never since learning how to walk has something so epic, so Earth shattering, so dependent on my child's readiness happened in the Patterson household. We have embarked on our maiden voyage into potty training. I will let that sink in for a moment because I am still slowly crawling out of  the "my child is rapidly becoming more self sufficient" shock induced mom coma.

Let me take you back to the beginning, when I was pondering getting Emma a potty for Christmas. I thought that by the end of December she would be ready to give it a go and what better way to get her excited than a bright shiny potty waiting for her under the tree! Well that idea ended up being shot down by several people who said getting a potty for Christmas was like getting a crappy lump of coal (get it-ha- ok moooving on). So a few weeks back I decided to just get the darn potty although I still maintain it is more like getting a gift...the gift of not having to go through life with a diaper loaded down with potty stuffs but I digress. I made the decision based on two observations:

1. Emma had started telling us when she went potty.
2. She seemed to have a fascination with when mommy and daddy went potty

To be honest I really had no plan. I've read snippets of potty training hints and logic but nothing close to a book or anything like that. The one statement that resonated with me was the good old: "they'll do it when they are ready." That is logical and stress relieving enough for me so I went with it. We kept the potty in the living room for about a week just to have it out in the open to talk about. Then by week 2, I moved it into the bathroom so she could "sit" on it while mommy went potty. Then came a 3 day weekend and since I was going to actually have the time to devote to it, we went hard core. I just told her it was time to go potty ever hour or so. We did this a few times with no results but by this stage in the toddler game, my patience threshold has grown exponentially. So I just went with it. By some unknown miracle or just luck or happenstance, by the end of day two, she went potty! I mean really did it for the first time. So I did what any mother would do....I screamed until I was horse and took to facebook with the news!

I would like to derail for a moment from what is I hope a satirical, not to serious look at this whole potty training thing and focus on the tenderness for a moment (read: I am going to get weepy sappy on you right now ok). When she finally did the deed, it was a feeling I can barely put into words. It was like the time she took her first steps. It's the breaking of boundaries that bind her to the infancy of childhood. It's been one of the most pride inducing, emotionally amazing parenting experiences to date and once again brings the harsh reality that I am losing my baby to the uncharted world of big girldom.

I don't know what all this potty training holds for us in the future. I know that we still have a long road ahead of us. And to Emma: I suppose when I am old and senile and have a consistent dependency on diapers you can post a telling testimonial to an online audience of your choice about how ecstatic you were that I was able to actually wipe my own ass or actually went potty on my own one day or something to that effect. I hope in giving you that you can forgive me for this :)