Emma’s First Year: A Look Back

Well it’s finally here. Tomorrow is Emma’s first birthday. It is really crazy to think just a few months ago I had a baby who was content to lay in her bassinet and look around the room and now I have a full blown walking, talking  toddler who “fake cries” when she doesn’t get her way. Here’s a look back at Emma’s journey through her first year:

An Eye Opener: Emma literally was minutes old when this picture was taken. Her eyes opened and have barely closed since. She rarely naps for fear she might miss something. She needs to see it all.

Her first Outing: We took our first trip to the pediatrician’s office. I remember planning out what she would wear ahead of time and making sure we had everything we needed for the short trip.

Her First babbles: I got super excited when she started mumbling loudly. Now she says actual words like “Hi” (more like hihihihihihi) and “thank you” (which sounds more like tachew)

Her first Laugh: I was so sad my husband was working when she laughed for the first time. I recorded it and made sure to call him so he could hear it. Now, she laughs all the time (she is super ticklish).

Being Sick: Even though sickness is never something I like remembering it was definitely a big part of her first year. We are looking forward to a strengthened immune system in the upcoming years (perfect attendance preschool here we come!) – I know wishful thinking.

Her first Bath: This was her first bath in the "big girl tub" I remember being so nervous bathing her, worried water or soap would get in her eyes. Now she splashes all over place and loves it. 

Her First Holidays: Even though she didn’t quiet grasp what was going on, it was still fun to get all excited for each holiday and seeing her get excited too.

Her first food: I spent a lot of time worrying about this and to this day, Emma’s diet and nutritional intake (along with my own) have become a big deal and are usually what I spend the most time researching. Her first solid food was oatmeal based on pediatrician recommendation and a lot of reading. She loved it and has been gobbling up pretty much everything else since. (Avocado is what is eating in the picture, also a good first food.) 

Standing/ Walking: Crawling turned out to be a lot of hype (I built it up myself) only to be brought back to reality. There isn’t that moment when your child crawls. They sort of roll and wiggle, and scoot and eventually find their way around. Walking is more of a definite ok there is it, it has happened, mark down the day and the hour! Although Emma took her first steps and then took a month or so before she was actually walking. She sort of just started doing it one day.

Blowing Kisses: (I haven't been able to capture a picture of this one because she moves too fast.) She doesn’t quiet have the concept down, but Emma will “blow” you a kiss, or rather put her hand up to her mouth and kiss her hand. I am anxiously awaiting the day I get a real kiss from her. Which just goes to show the many, many more milestones and new discoveries we have ahead.

Stay tuned for posts on her birthday party and a nursery makeover to come! I am excited to dive into the world of raising a toddler, our next chapter together and look forward to hearing your stories along the way! 

Our Weekend in Pictures and Some New Developments

It’s Tuesday and for this working mom and her family it is back to the daily grind after a 4 day weekend. It was great having 4 days off in a row since I haven’t had a vacation since early 2012. I can’t say however that we did not have a few bumps along the way but all in all it was great to recharge the batteries and actually get to spend 2 consecutive days with my husband (he works Saturdays).

I had Friday off and we went to the Amish Market in our area. I could barely contain myself seeing all of the fresh baked goods and candies not to mention the fresh produce and meat. We meet up with some friends and spent several hours enjoying the bounty of the Amish, returning home with several goodies. Emma LOVED the cinnamon apple bread!

On Saturday we hung out with Emma’s Nana and did a little shopping while daddy was at work.  This began the worst breakdown of napping/ sleeping Emma has had since she was 6 months old. She refused to nap and getting her to sleep was a nightmare. This picture was the result of passing out from exhaustion. She just fell asleep while she was playing in her pack and play while I fixed lunch.

In other news, Emma has formed a love hate relationship with chicken. One minute she gobbles it up and the next has a look of utter disgust when she eats it. She will still eat just about anything but fruits are her favorite. In this picture she is returning the offensive chicken to her father. 

Another first this weekend, Emma has started to point at everything not just point but she will point at something and then look at you expecting a Britannica sized explanation of the object. She kept pointing at a fire extinguisher while we were out at a restaurant and I told her what it was called, what it was used for, and of course the color and she kept pointing still like I needed to provide more information before I would be let off the hook. Looks like I will have to read up on a lot of things so I can provide endless streams of insight on inadamite objects.

On Sunday, we got some fresh air with a walk to the park. Emma is not opposed to getting a ride in the stroller but she LOVES walking on her own so daddy happily obliged until we realized walking a few blocks to the park would take hours going at her speed.

It was all smiles at the park and Emma worked on getting over her fear of grass.

Finally, Monday came and with it, Emma’s first parade! She was excited to wave her flags and danced when she saw the marching bands go by. Her excitement didn't last to long though. Apparently the classic cars didn’t do it for her, but daddy enjoyed them! 

Hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend! What did your family do this weekend? Feel free to leave any blog links in the comments!

My First Year as a Mom: A Look Back

They say it goes by so fast, but as I ran the sleep deprived marathon what seems like just a few months ago, it almost felt like it would never end, but it has. My first year as a mom is now no more than a memory but a beautiful one. I found strength I didn’t think I had, learned more than I thought I would, at times rolled around on the floor laughing and at times sat balled up crying. It was the ultimate year jam packed with frustrations and exploding with excitement and milestones for myself as well as my child. I am no guru by any means but I thought I would share a few nuggets of wisdom I picked up on my journey:

Time – The best thing I read to describe those first months especially is that the days are long but the years are short. When you get there or if you already have been you know what I mean. I mean when you have a newborn to take care of, laundry to do, dinner to make, and a husband that doesn’t get home until almost 8pm, you catch yourself staring at the clock every few minutes. What seems like hours somehow manifest themselves into minutes. After cuddling a baby, changing diapers, not having any adult interactions, and trying desperately to make sure the baby doesn’t cry, the walls start to close in on you. So in the beginning time goes sooo slow.

Making Decisions and Choices – All of a sudden choosing between which awesome Halloween party to go to is no longer even a blip on the radar of your existence. Choosing which method of relief to offer your teething baby is all you can focus on; amber necklace, teething rings, or teething tablets? There are a million different decisions and choices out there for every milestone. I spent (and still do spend) hours reading up on and getting the most information possible about any and everything. It just sort of becomes part of who you are.

Finding Yourself – I never lost myself really, if anything I was extremely aware of myself through a haze of sleep deprivation, postpartum mommy brain, and the stench of infrequent showering. I mean people tell you your life is going to change but literally one day you are free to come and go and the next thing you know you have to run around the house for a full hour loading bags, packing strollers, and grabbing a million things just to “walk” out the door. You have sudden huge feelings of guilt or worry if you are not around your child and you learn that maternity leave and daycare systems in this country stink. Through all of it though you find your rhythm, you learn what you do and don’t need on an outing, you learn what you feel comfortable with when it comes to parenting, and then eventually, you learn to balance most of it to include a social life, work, pintrest, and parenthood. 

 Doing What Works for You – The experts might say one thing, studies might say another, and everyone has an opinion. Don’t let anyone get you down if you don’t do it the “right” way. We had to formula feed and I couldn’t do skin to skin in after birth but Emma walked at 9 months and is the sweetest snuggler out there. She is healthy, loving, and intelligent so I think we are doing at least something right.

This is just my short list. Everyone has different experiences. Just enjoy it. It does go by way to fast, you can never take enough pictures and never give enough hugs because one day they will be able to walk away from you and that day comes a lot sooner than you think. 

The Story of Us- Part 3 – Being Pregnant

I took a little pause in my short story series on how we became a family of three.  This post  continues the story detailing how my pregnancy went. To catch up check out my conception story part 1 and part 2.

If I recall, I left off with me, experiencing terrible all-day sickness on my gorgeous, all-inclusive honeymoon where I got to enjoy some yummy virgin daiquiris! Grand! So, here I was fresh off my honeymoon a month and a half pregnant. Literally the honeymoon was over and now I had to integrate back into real life. This is when reality really set in. I was still processing everything, having been told I was pregnant a week and a half earlier. So I dealt with it the best way I knew how; to come up with a plan (that is usually thwarted almost immediately after I spend hours crafting it). I decided to wait to tell my mom about the pregnancy until a month later for several reasons: 1. I was still in that uncertain early stage when things could go wrong and with my past medical history I wanted to make sure everything was on track. 2. My mom is a fairly religious person so… um… well I was nervous to be smited by the hand of God (or her) for conceiving before marriage (ok technically five weeks and three days before marriage but really who’s counting.)

I figured if I waited a month and told her then maybe, just maybe she wouldn’t be able to do the math and would think it happened on the honeymoon. I wasn’t sure of how to go about telling anyone I was pregnant really seeing as how I had never had to do it before. I mean do you just come out with it? “Hey nice weather we’ve been having. Oh yeah, I’m pregnant.” Do you warm people up to it, like “oh Mr. McGregor’s rabbit just had babies…well speaking of babies…” Yeah, No.  So my sister and I came up with a plan (she got the just throw it at ‘em approach when I told her “oh btw I’m pregnant, don’t let any alcohol come near me” right before my wedding). We went over to my mom’s house, made her dinner, engaged in pleasant conversation and then I pulled out an envelope and told her I had something for her. I just handed over the sonogram pictures and I have never seen someone’s jaw hit the floor so fast. I was shocked the velocity did not cause her jaw to detach from her face. Not only did I have to tell her I was pregnant, but I had to explain to her everything that had happened to me since 2008. Needless to say it was a long evening. My sister should thank me really for breaking the baby ice because next time someone has to announce they are creating a human being, they can put some real flair behind it and have fun with it rather than hold their breath waiting to get smited.

My pregnancy was difficult in the beginning and even more difficult at the end. I was glad for the lull during the second trimester when I went nesting crazy and decorated the baby’s room. I scrubbed down Every. Single. Wall. in my house at least three times top to bottom during that period of time. Our house has never been cleaner before or after. I actually enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the thought and attention to detail that went into everything; picking out the baby gear and getting giddy when I saw other babies around me. It was great. Then around my third trimester I was so swollen I could barely walk. It hurt to sit, it hurt to stand, it was an all-around miserable time. My job graciously let me work from home for the last few weeks of my pregnancy and I did the research every mom does before giving birth: watched A Baby Story. We did actually attend baby classes which prepared us but also set some unrealistic expectations. I will go more into that with the final installation: Part 4 of the Story of Us. Until then stay sane friends!

(me probably 8 or so months pregnant getting ready to go into my baby shower)

How was your pregnancy? Did you experience the “pregnancy glow?” I have been wanting to hear from someone who has because I sure didn't! The end result was all worth it though :) 

The Importance of Being Emma

This world can truly be a scary place. It’s full of many tough challenges and amazing feats. Anyone can go through the highest of highs and lowest of lows and it is tough navigating your way through it all and staying true to who you are. It’s called being a member of humanity.  As children we have the amazing ability to be 100% ourselves and somehow we seem to lose that along the way. 

With her first birthday approaching, I wanted to write to her about never losing sight of who she is and always staring down defeat or adversity to come out strong on the other side. Even though she is just a year old I already see many amazing qualities she has that she can use to overcome hardships later in life and I want her to know that she can lean on them whenever she feels herself getting down.  As a child, she possesses qualities that she might forget along the way, but I am writing this for her to remember what she was like and how preserving  these parts of her will help her along her path in life:

Her Sense of Humor

Always remember dear Emma, the importance of using your sense of humor. You find amusement in the little things and you know how to make others laugh. Never forget this. If you or someone else is in need remember your sense of humor and laugh it out!

Her Curiosity

Always remember to be curious. Never take anything for face value. Always dig deeper, ask questions, wonder. This quality leads to questions which lead to knowledge which can eventually lead to understanding so never give it up.

Her Desire for Adventure

Always have a desire for adventure. Part of what it means to live is to seek adventure. Go someplace different, try something new, you never know where an adventure will take you or what you will learn about yourself and the world along the way.

Her Love of Animals

Always love and respect nature, especially your furry friends. Growing up with four dogs to love and play with is an amazing opportunity to have. Learn from their their loyalty and caring natures and remember that is the same for all living things. 

Her Determination

Never give up! Just like you pulled the blanket off the couch to get to the remote, never give up on goals you set or on difficult situations. Having determination will move you mountains.

Her lack of caring what others think

Never care what others think! I know this will be a hard one someday but just know at the core of who you are, there was a time when you walked around with a plastic toy on your head and you were proud of it.

Her Love of Dance

Always dance! I know it might seem crazy or the timing might seem inappropriate, but just do it. Turn on a good tune and just let it rip!

Her Healthy Eating

Always Eat your veggies! Sweets are fun too but make sure to seek out fun and fulfilling foods. 

Her Friendly Nature/ Acceptance of Others

Always be accepting of others. This will be hard as you get older because some people are difficult to tolerate (I might be one of them at times) but just know that everyone has a reason why they behave like they do. Not all of them will be warranted, but some might and some reasons might not be obvious so try your best to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Her Patience

Always try to have patience. Things might seem like way beyond your control from time to time, but do your best to have patience, take the time you need and give others the time they need. You are a very patient line waiter and are able to devote lots of concentration to the smallest of things. Those are too important things never to lose!

I want her to know that no matter how people try to change her or what society says she should do, that she is her own person. She is Emma. And she should always remember the importance of being Emma.

Thoughts on Being a Mom: My Pre-Mother’s Day Musings

As the week is winding down and Mother’s Day approaches, (semi-technically my first real mother’s day since I was two weeks away from giving birth last year) I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what it means to me to be a mother as I am sure it is different for everyone. Any future mommies out there pay attention, any current mommies commence the head nodding!

Feeling an overwhelming sense of love –

It is hard to explain the love I feel as a mom other than it is like I have this tiny best friend who I am semi-obsessed with and worry about all the time. So motherhood is like an addiction … if you honestly think about it…maybe

 Feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt –

Along with the love as previously mentioned comes guilt. No one is perfect and by any means and there is no such thing as a perfect mother but I always feel like I could be doing more or I am missing out on something. That’s why I try to cherish the little moments. There are never perfect long periods of time only perfect moments so I hold onto them whenever I can.

Going on new/ old adventures! –

I love going to new places with Emma or places I’ve been to a million times because everything is new to her! Emma is just starting to notice things, in fact on our trip to the zoo the last week she told me “I see, I see!” after I asked her if she saw the monkeys! Because everything is new to her I have to remember that she takes a little extra time exploring or concentrating on things and that attention to detail is amazing to me!

Providing –

I am constantly working hard at my job to ensure the financial stability of my family and working hard at home; learning how to cook healthy meals and making sure Emma has what she needs to grow and thrive!

Nurturing –

Anyone from my past knows I am not much of a nurturer. I usually needed the nurturing. It has been an incredible part of my new journey to see myself transform into this role. Someone needs me and I want to be sure I am there for her!

These are just a few points about what it is like for me being a mom right now. I’m sure motherhood like everything else evolves and changes with the addition of new children and the passing of time. I look forward to checking back on these posts from my early mothering days to laugh at my challenges and reminisce over the stories.

How about you? Sometimes we don’t stop to think about what being a mother means to us. What does it mean to you? 

The Clingy, the Shy and the Fearless: Finding Her Way

Just picture it, a beautiful morning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and a sweet, innocent smile cascades off of your baby’s face on to yours. You say your good byes and head off to your perspective days, reuniting in the afternoon to pick up right where you had left off. This is what I have been privy to day in and day out, the sweet time with my child before dropping her off at daycare and after picking her up. She is usually on the crankier side when I pick her up but never anything too bad. Well, since I have greatly reduced my daily visits to daycare I have been unaware of a new development, one I had been trying to avoid. My child is a crazy cling monster! I knew she was clingy whenever I was around seeing as how this was the reason for my reduced daily visits. I hate going to see her only to have it end in tears and upsetness a few minutes later. It didn’t seem worth it to disturb her day like that. So that’s been it, I have stayed away, only to find out that she has had extreme separation anxiety anyway!

When I drop her off in the morning she is one of the first kids there at around 6:45am(I am thinking about changing my schedule to get in more family time –more on that later). So she starts off her day in one room with two caregivers and then transfers into her regular room around 8am when her caregivers get in. This means she has to leave her first room with her first set of caregivers and start fresh in another room and apparently this does not sit well with her. I was told she has a special bond with one of the ladies in the first room and I do really wish she could transfer rooms to just stay in room one but that room is full. I hate to hear that she gets upset in the transfer. That’s not the end of it though. She even clings onto whoever she is with when they go outside to the playground! I was only somewhat surprised to hear this since it takes her a while to warm up to new situations. It’s funny to me because she really is fearless. Once she gets her stride no matter how many times she falls or bumps into things she brushes it off and keeps going. But take her to the playground or put her in a new situation and shy Emma appears. I understand the comfort that comes with the known but I wish there was a way to get her past this stage!

We’ve only been to the playground a handful of times but I know with some more guidance she will learn to love it. I can see the day come when she won’t be able to hold back from the joy and freedom a playground gives. As for separation anxiety, well I think we have a while before that one disappears. She is a sweet little girl who enjoys snuggling and feeling safe and I don’t blame her for wanting to hold onto that. I know in time she will find her independence and then me and everyone else she clings to will be left in the dust. But until then I guess she will have to find her way. This too shall pass.   

 Has your child gone through a “shy” phase or a clingy phase? How long did it last? What did you do to get through it? 

Attack of the Sippy Cups

Since last week involved the unveiling of some heavier subject matter, I figured this week I would keep it light and as always “intelligent” around here. That’s why I need to address a pressing matter, something that has been weighing heavily on my mind. After being bombarded with bright bursts of color, I have gone crossed eyed from… all of the sippy cups we have accumulated around here! I mean we are about to start getting rid of the bottles but geez I feel like all of a sudden I turned around after letting my attention slip for one second and WHAM there they were, a million different aerodynamic liquid dispensing devises. As I recall growing up there was one standard issue sippy cup, you know the one with the snap on lid that had the holes in it that would inevitably get warped after 3 washes in the dishwasher? Yeah well apparently in our overly thought out world there is no longer a “simple” sippy cup. There seems to be a sippy cup for every kind of mood you are in. 

Our massive accumulation of colorful cups began before Emma was even born. While out on one of many pre-baby preparatory shopping trips I stumbled upon a big bargain bin of cups from which you sip. This was a most excellent find. They were on sale for a dollar each, so naturally I grabbed a bunch thinking that it would be forever until we used them. They were fairly simple, just the cup and nozzle. I was glad to have them on hand when Emma's daycare told me she had crawled over and grabbed one from a classmate so she would be needing one of her own. I was excited to work with her to try something new. Then from there we had a sudden explosion of cups. We got several as gifts and then being a "resourceful mom" I decided we needed varying options. Enter in straws, handles, different lids, and new sizes. Google had backfired once again when I realized that I had read so many different articles on which cup to give at what developmental stage that I couldn’t remember if handles or straws were forbidden or the new clinical study standard. So, I have given my child everything and discovered that she seems to be competent when it comes to operating each one. Thank God I have birthed a competent cup operator. Hopefully if I give her a different cup every time she will eventually unregress herself from the previous cup which could have been an evil regressing cup that I mistakenly introduced because I'm as confused as ever.

Basically I am trying to weave my way through each new study, like each cup, to figure out what works best for my child. I guess it’s the closet neurotic in me that needs to make sure something as simple as a cup does not interfere with my child’s development. So far we seem to be still raising a healthy child so I guess all is well. So the point to all of this is... I'm not sure. Out of all of this I can tell you two things: 1. We have up until this point only lost one cup to the destructive wrath of the dogs. 2. In all honesty I am liking our Nemo straw cup the best. 

Make sense? Is your head spinning within the groovy cup colored tapestry? Have no fear I’m sure there will be 100 more options by the time your tot comes around to this stage. If you are currently in the trenches with me or have gone down this confusing road before I would love to hear from you. What cups worked best for you? What cups lasted through toddler hood? Let me know in the comments! 

The Story of Us – Conception- Part 2

Months of dating turned into a year and a half and four dog children later and one day in a cave, I was proposed to, faulty tubes and all. We had it, we had our family. Four amazing, wonderful dogs and each other. It just so happened that we ended up planning our wedding around the same time two of our other friends had planned their weddings.  I also started a new job a few months prior. So there I was a new employee, a bridesmaid, a maid of honor, and a bride all within a few months. It was a crazy whirlwind period of time but I enjoyed every minute of it. Our wedding was the last one of the three and I will never forget the stress and anticipation leading up to it. The personalized place cards, the programs, the seating arrangements, it was anxiety at its finest.

At first I thought all of the stress and running around was the reason I was late with my cycle for the month. I mean after all, I KNEW I couldn’t be pregnant. I waited as long as I felt comfortable before finally taking a pregnancy test …the week before my wedding. I will never forget the morning when the lines showed up on the stick. Thomas was still sleeping in bed and I ran in with my pee covered wand and shoved it in his face. PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????

Simply put, I was stunned. But I was more than stunned. I was confused, worried, surprised, excited, and nervous as hell. I think I left out about 10 more emotions but you get the idea. Was my OB to blame? Was I given false information? All I know is in December 2008 I was told I could not have kids and here it was October of 2011 and I was looking at a stick that said I was. I will never forget that day at the doctor’s office. I went in the morning and they confirmed I was pregnant. They checked to make sure it was not ectopic and to see how far along I was. Five weeks! Looks like during all of the wedding celebrating that somehow I had gotten pregnant. My OB said that my tubes must have cleared on their own (OOoook – I ended up with a different OB later on).

When I went into work that afternoon, after having been to the doctor, they threw me a wedding shower. It was crazy because my wedding was now THE LAST thing on my mind. I ate the cake and smiled and opened my gift from the office and faked my emotions until it was quitting time. Ok I made it through that, now I will only have to make it through two days full of all of my family and friends without showing the utter panic and excitement of being pregnant. Grand! Piece of Cake! I thought it over in my head and decided that this time (our wedding) needed to be about me and Thomas. Standing up at the rehearsal dinner and announcing we were expecting just didn’t seem like it would flow well if you know what I mean.

We had a wonderful wedding. I ended up telling my sister and one friend that I was pregnant so they could do alcohol recon and make sure I was only drinking apple juice and gingerale. We then set off on our wonderful, all inclusive, non-refundable, honeymoon to Jamaica where I had the worst all-day sickness and about 100 virgin daiquiris. (To this day I still tell my husband that he owes me a pregnancy free honeymoon.)

(Me drinking one of my nonalcoholic drinks on our honeymoon)

Since I was kind of left to my own devises to figure out how my tubes magically started working again I reasoned for a while and came up with this: I had been working out and eating extremely healthy leading up to the wedding and I had also started a new, stress free job. I truly believe that these three ingredients at least assisted in the conception of my Emma.

Check back soon for the continuation of the story of us. Pregnancy and telling my mom! Followed by my delivery story.