My Better Half

With this being Thanksgiving week and all I wanted to jump on the bandwagon of thankfulness for just a bit before I go cut off someone for their parking space, run them over in the store with my shopping cart, and grab the last "must have" toy off the shelf (truly hoping you can sense the sarcasm here.) And when it came time to think about what I was most thankful for it was really easy. The person in my life who grants me the most patience and always lends more than enough helping hands, my husband. I don't talk about him on here nearly enough and I want to make sure Emma knows what a wonderfully devoted and caring person he his to both her and me. So now I will share with you just a few reasons I am thankful for my better half:

His hard work/ drive:
My husband works a lot this is true. He works between 10- 20 hours of overtime a week depending on the week. He does it all to support his family with a smile on his face and everyday I am grateful for his drive.

His help around the house:
The super, amazing man that he is even after working x amount of hours of overtime still finds the energy to come home and help clean/ cook! (He is most defiantly the better cook in this twosome.) And more often than not I give him the puppy eyes when he gets home to beg him to make some edible food because I really can't stand my own cooking.

His devotion to his daughter:
Just like it did for me, it took my husband a little while to completely grasp the whole parenting thing. Since he works so much and is away from home so much I think it took him a little bit longer, but now that he has finally come around it is the sweetest thing to see! He will try to rush home to see Emma before she goes to sleep and he takes pictures of her in the morning when he drops her off at daycare. He's gotten better at remembering what she needs and preparing for worst case scenarios.

His love of laughter:
This guy loves to laugh and certainly knows how to get a bunch of toddler giggles. I guess for some reason dad's are always funny. He is always coming up with a new way to keep his girls in stitches.

His handiness:
Broken stroller wheel, fixed it...building tv storage cabinet from scratch, nailed it (pun intended)...took scraps of a rocking chair we found on the side of the road and created a new functioning chair, yeah he did it...seriously Emma is one lucky girl come science project time.

His patience:
After several minutes of screaming I am ready to throw in the towel but he sits patiently and waits for the tantrum storm to subside. When he is in the throws of an "I need attention now dada" fit, he keeps his cool and asks what she needs. He has this quiet peacefulness about him that is soothing and something I wish I had more of.

His love of cooking:
Have I possibly mentioned this already because if I  haven't...his mushroom burgers are out of this world and his asparagus stuffed chicken to die for. He genuinely enjoys making meals and I genuinely avoid trying not to burn the house down.

There are plenty more reasons why I am thankful for my husband, but especially this year since I have been trying to focus on my career he has really stepped up. He has fully embraced his roll as a father and I think thanks in part to taking over the daycare drop offs in the mornings he truly understands all that goes into that one small part of the day. He had the foresight to take that information and apply it to the rest of the day, understanding that being a parent is a full time job and for that I thank him. I am really glad he is on my team.

Happy Thanksgiving from us here at the chaos!

A Potty Training Post

Disclaimer: Emma if you are reading this at anytime before you become a mother, say in your vulnerable teenage years, I apologize in advanced. It was never my intention to have your boyfriend of one week google you and find your potty training story. That being said I can promise you two things before these horrific tales ruin any chance you have of becoming Homecoming Queen:
1. There are no embarrassing pictures & 2. I fully plan on funding any therapy sessions you may need later on in life from this or any subsequent potty post. - Mom

Ok friends it's HERE. Never since learning how to walk has something so epic, so Earth shattering, so dependent on my child's readiness happened in the Patterson household. We have embarked on our maiden voyage into potty training. I will let that sink in for a moment because I am still slowly crawling out of  the "my child is rapidly becoming more self sufficient" shock induced mom coma.

Let me take you back to the beginning, when I was pondering getting Emma a potty for Christmas. I thought that by the end of December she would be ready to give it a go and what better way to get her excited than a bright shiny potty waiting for her under the tree! Well that idea ended up being shot down by several people who said getting a potty for Christmas was like getting a crappy lump of coal (get it-ha- ok moooving on). So a few weeks back I decided to just get the darn potty although I still maintain it is more like getting a gift...the gift of not having to go through life with a diaper loaded down with potty stuffs but I digress. I made the decision based on two observations:

1. Emma had started telling us when she went potty.
2. She seemed to have a fascination with when mommy and daddy went potty

To be honest I really had no plan. I've read snippets of potty training hints and logic but nothing close to a book or anything like that. The one statement that resonated with me was the good old: "they'll do it when they are ready." That is logical and stress relieving enough for me so I went with it. We kept the potty in the living room for about a week just to have it out in the open to talk about. Then by week 2, I moved it into the bathroom so she could "sit" on it while mommy went potty. Then came a 3 day weekend and since I was going to actually have the time to devote to it, we went hard core. I just told her it was time to go potty ever hour or so. We did this a few times with no results but by this stage in the toddler game, my patience threshold has grown exponentially. So I just went with it. By some unknown miracle or just luck or happenstance, by the end of day two, she went potty! I mean really did it for the first time. So I did what any mother would do....I screamed until I was horse and took to facebook with the news!

I would like to derail for a moment from what is I hope a satirical, not to serious look at this whole potty training thing and focus on the tenderness for a moment (read: I am going to get weepy sappy on you right now ok). When she finally did the deed, it was a feeling I can barely put into words. It was like the time she took her first steps. It's the breaking of boundaries that bind her to the infancy of childhood. It's been one of the most pride inducing, emotionally amazing parenting experiences to date and once again brings the harsh reality that I am losing my baby to the uncharted world of big girldom.

I don't know what all this potty training holds for us in the future. I know that we still have a long road ahead of us. And to Emma: I suppose when I am old and senile and have a consistent dependency on diapers you can post a telling testimonial to an online audience of your choice about how ecstatic you were that I was able to actually wipe my own ass or actually went potty on my own one day or something to that effect. I hope in giving you that you can forgive me for this :)

No Matter What

Well folks it's almost that time of year again...wait who am I kidding it is most definitely that time of year already, it's here...you know the warmth of family togetherness and the crackle of chestnuts over the hearth, the warmth of cookies right after they get done baking, the warmth of cozy hats and scarves...ah yes, I wish I could fondly say it is THAT time of year for me, but sadly it is not. I'm sure I will get to that happy place when cuddling with my family is all I need to do but right now, at this very moment, I am entering holiday panic phase 1...there are too many things to do! Yes I'm looking at you every Pintrest mom ever who has their holiday cards done and about 30 holiday crafts pinned from last week alone, yes you! I however have barely given any thought to any of it. Well except for one thing...

It is something simple (yet idiotically materialistic), Emma's Christmas gifts. It seems to me that mentally I am not able to move on to the ease (ha) of shopping for others until I have meticulously planned and purchased gifts for my child and well I'm even more overwhelmed than I was last year. I seem to have these amazing revelations after spending a weekend with my child that formulate themselves into amazing daydreams of wonder. For example, this past weekend, she was marveling over every airplane she saw...AHA! she would love an AIRPLANE for Christmas of course! Enter me, daydreaming about Emma flying an airplane through the air...wait wasn't there a vintage little people airplane I used to love playing with...yeah so you get the idea. And then just the weekend before she was enamored with this plastic horse (that the dogs had chewed nearly to bits: see below)

that came in a random bag of stuff I picked up from the thrift store. A HORSE! OF COURSE! Yes she shall squeal with glee when she wakes up to see a big new horsey next to her airplane and Elmo and teddy bear and crayons and on and on and on. My quest for perfection has me running circles in my head and I'm ready to get off this nightmare sugar plum merry go round.

Last year seemed so easy in comparison to this. Last year there weren't as many options. She was 6 months old...a rattle and some light up doohickeys...great! This year, with an ever growing mind, I am really trying to make sure I pick what she would like best. I suppose this pulls at the mommy guilt strings too because last year I just seemed to gravitate toward what she needed and this year, well I feel like maybe I'm not as in tune with what she wants/ needs. I know by next year I won't have this problem as I'm sure I will get bombarded with requests, but for now I am going to do my best to pick and chose carefully and thoughtfully.

I think I put a lot of pressure on myself because I have such fond memories of my childhood toys. True, not everything was a favorite, but I got endless hours of joy and my big imagination from playing with those toys. So here I am staring down the aisle, a horsey reaching for me from one side, an airplane flying at me from another, wait what's that grabbing my leg...hug me Elmo...oh no here come the crayons and the play dough....WHAT TO DO!?!?!?

Take a deep breath, I think to myself, she loves you no matter what.

Leaving 30 Behind

I honestly never thought I’d be here, on the other side of 30. I seriously feel like I’m still 25 (ok well to be really honest, 15) sometimes. There's no shaking the Peter Pan syndrome for me. I will always and forever be a kid/ teenager inside, which I have been told should worry me and for which I should seek therapy. But for now, I roll my eyes at the neigh sayers. I am holding onto remembering what it was like to be a child as I relive it through my on daughter’s childhood. I don’t think I will ever be able to stop finding the magic in things or having an overly active imagination. I’m a writer, that’s what we have to live with and honestly I love it.

To get on with it though, I’ve read in more than one place and heard more than one person say that you really figure it all out in your 30s, that it all magically comes together. Up until 2 years ago I would have told you that was all hogwash.  My late 20s were spent working in stressful/ overly qualified jobs and wondering if I would ever meet someone I could share my life with. Toward the end the later happened and then I got the wonderful, unexpected surprise of motherhood. Then came the growing pains of new motherhood and still worrying about having a successful career and more importantly what my place was in the world. It has always been a big deal for me to figure out how I was going to change the world, how I was going to do something so epic it would change the way people saw the world. I was still figuring it all out.

Yet somehow, in this, my 30^th year, my career took off, I got a solid hold on this parenting thing (sort of) and I finally started feeling confident in my writing. I soon figured out how I could change the world on a much smaller yet still satisfying scale. I came to peace with that which had tormented me for years. I had a true revelation on what my purpose was and I am now focused more than ever on creating success in my career, in my writing, and in my family life. Everything hasn’t come sharply into focus yet, but I have a better idea and understanding of the general path of my life and even more than that, I feel comfortable and happy where I am at this time in my life.

I have loads to still look forward to and so much more development as a person to go through and I am patiently excited to experience it all. I kind of have a big announcement to make (I’ll deflate some of your excitement right now, we are not expecting) that I am excited to share with all of you as soon as it fleshes out. Until then CHEERS for my early thirties, here’s to diving head first into my new adventures!

17 Months

It has all gone by way too fast. Watching you grow has been the most wondrous and inspiring part of my life. I am in total shock and awe of all of your intricacies. You do things whole heartedly with a sense of humor and emotional strength that I wish I had. You are changing so rapidly that I barely can finish laughing at your goofiness before shedding tears at how fast my little baby has grown up. My cell phone’s storage isn’t particularly fond of me right now seeing as how I manage to keep it crammed full of pictures and videos. As I am with my own life, I am afraid of missing any moment of epic discovery or any mundane small thing that happens in yours. In the spirit of preservation, I want to make sure I am doing a good job of verbally waving together the pieces of your childhood. So here you are, at 17 months:

Talking up a storm:
As crazy as it sounds, you are already repeating what we say right after we say it. Trying to grasp how dog and doggie mean the same thing. It’s intense watching someone learn what will ultimately help them communicate their needs and desires.

Requests:
Which leads me to the first time you were able to tell me what you needed. You asked for your “cup” and boy were you thirsty! Your other favorite request? Crackers! Although it took me a while to figure out you weren’t saying quack quack (your name for a duck). You always ask to “cook” too. I am excited to see you have a passion for cooking and even more grateful that you don’t realize how terrible my cooking is yet, or that I will not be the best teacher when it comes to cooking. For now you have been content pouring water and stirring bread crumbs in your own special “Cooking station” aka the furthest point in the kitchen from the stove.
 

 

Favorite books:
What can I say, we read “Go Dog Go” at least three times a day (luckily I split the shifts with your father.) I can’t blame you though, a book about dogs, cars, and colors is pretty awesome and right now all three of those things are high up there on your little toddler radar. I love it! Your other favorite book is the ever simple, yet visually stunning “Colors” book. You love pointing at the objects and telling me what you see. I love hearing your voice confidently telling me that yes, that is indeed a banana.

 

Favorite character:
We have entered the age when you recognize various children’s characters. Mickey Mouse club house sits a top your tv show favorites and you said his name for the first time the other day. I know now we have a future obligation at a certain "happiest place on Earth." And of course, as soon as you see the fuzzy red guy, yes we’re talking Elmo, you point and yell with glee. The other day you were in your high chair and started yelling and pointing “ELMO!” It took a while for me to figure it out, but you were pointing at the tiny, microscopic Elmo on the side of the diaper box (must have your father’s eagle eye vision.)

Food:
Not much to say here, you love to throw it. I think fruit snacks and crackers are the only two things you don’t chuck into the nether regions of the universe. On the upside, the dogs are ALWAYS happy when it’s dinner time, yours more so than theirs.

Some Dislikes:
Riding in the car (unless there are crackers of course), getting run over by a stampede of dogs when you walk through the door (although they only attack you with the best of intentions), food in general, following directions during soccer, sharing, and ending any activity you are really into at the moment such as "cooking" or crafting.

 

Accessorizing:
For some reason you LOVE wearing hats and shoes. It feels like just a short time ago you would scream if a hat came near your head and now you can’t get enough of them. You go out of your way to put on hats and any shoes you see laying around. It’s the first glimmer of you expressing yourself and I think it’s like poetic grace.

 

Personality:
It is amazing to me how sharp your sense of humor is. You will purposely do something because you find it hilarious and you constantly ask us to do things that will make you laugh. My absolute favorite thing right now is your “funny voice.” I ask you to do it and you curl your upper lip and stick out your bottom jaw and make a noise that sounds like an old man trying to walk up a steep flight of stairs. It cracks me up every time!

These are just a few tid bits of who you are right now. Every day there are changes, some substantial and others subtle but I know they are happening because it's getting harder and harder for me to see the little baby I brought home. But pretty much to sum it up, I'm honored to get to raise and hang out with such an awesome girl.

Love,
Mom

One Year of Blogging

 

 

It really happened…I made it one year blogging! A whole year’s worth of ridiculous stories and eye rolling rants. A whole year of ups and downs, mundane occurrences and  growing pains. Not just my child’s growth, but my growth as a parent and overall as a human being. It’s been an amazing journey becoming comfortable with my writing (although don’t get me worng, almost every time after I hit the “publish” button I go back to see massive grammatical errors and gross misspellings.) But alas, you stuck with me anyway! I am pleased to say I have maintained a steady readership throughout the year of between 7-15 people on average! I am so thrilled to be sharing my parenting and writing journey with you all.

In case you were wondering, I originally started this blog with the intention of networking and using it as a source of income. I really wanted the flexability to stay home with Emma and also become an amazing and well respected writer in the process. As time progressed and my career took off at my 9-5, I made the decision to use the blog as an outlet and a way to connect with other moms. I still dream of one day being contacted by the Huffington Post or Babble and until that day comes I will continue to plug away in my own little chaotic internet space.

In case you wanted to take a look back, here are a few of my favorite posts:

This vs That Parenting

The Things They Don't Teach You In Baby Class

Then and Now

My Momentary Beef with Toys R US

 

Here are a few of my most popular posts (20+ views!):

Working Mom Dilemma

Emma's Bday in Pictures

The Story of Us-Part 1 

Maternity Leave

 

Thanks again for joining us on our journey. I hope more than anything my children are able to look back and relive their childhood through their mother's eyes. Even though I might sound bent out of shape and exhausted a lot, trust me, I have been loving every minute of it and looking forward to so much more!

Halloween 2013

Happy few days after Halloween!! I know, I know everyone is already thinking about Christmas I suppose, but we are still rolling in the splendor of Fall and enjoying the gorgeous weather we are having! So, I know everyone is just DYING to know what Halloween costumes we ended up going with. If you recall I asked PWOC friends to vote for what you wanted to see us dress up as. We didn't get too much feed back so after a little bit more thought we decided to go with something completely different...I now present to you the Patterson's Halloween 2013:

Little Red Ridding Hood, Grandma, and the Big Bad Wolf!!!

The idea came to me through a bunch of costume searches. I was super excited that Emma's dad was able to get off work thus completing the ensemble. I have to tell you though, just as you might of heard through the many online publications, I was pretty disappointed in the selection of little red ridding hood costumes for little girls. I seriously was not about to dress my toddler in anything that even remotely resembled a corset, yet search after search that's exactly what I found. COME ON PEOPLE a little girl's dress with a red cape...not hard to put together. So I did what any ticked off mother would do, boycotted the crap and turned to etsy. There were a lot of lovely options but as is expected everything was a bit pricey, so I rolled up my sleeves and dusted off the old sewing machine. Let me tell you I have not made anything more complicated than curtains or pillows but in the name of all that is good and awesome I knew what I had to do. One fabric store trip later and I was a little more than apprehensive for the possibilities of what was to come...

Two weeks later... I went crying to my mother-in-law admitting I was in over my head. She graciously swooped in and dazzled us all....

I was super excited with the outcome (I mostly made the cape all by myself so yay for that.)

With our age appropriate little red and our thrift store grandma/ wolf finds we were ready to set out on our first real trick or treating adventure!

Last year I was not blogging by Halloween but hubs was working so Emma and I stopped by my mom's to get some pictures. You might recognize them..

This year we had a full schedule as my mom requested our presence. We made our way over to her house through rush hour to go to a block party in her neighborhood. We then met up with our friends in another neighborhood with a street that was blocked off. Each house had a bunch of amazing decorations. I t was really quite the display. I didn't have any thoughts of grandeur about how the experience would turn out since the entire evening's events took place after Emma's bed time. She didn't have any major meltdowns but the street was so packed with people that I was scared if I let her walk around she would get trampled or lost. So we took turns carrying her up to houses.

 

It was fun to see so many different costumes in one place but sooooo many people meant soooo little candy. I understood though with so many kids each house could only gave out one piece per kid. It was still a fun experience although I think next year we will hit up a neighborhood that is family friendly but not flooded with people.

Overall Emma had a good time pointing at the decorations and then when we got home she suddenly realized she had candy! She ran over to her basket and ooooed and aaaaahhhed and waved her treasures in the air. We kept a few lollipops for later and gave away the rest. All in all we had a very Happy Halloween! Hope you and yours had a great one!